“I’m alcoholic, but I like to say I just drink a little. I don’t know that there’s anything left in me worth spending time or energy on. I know you say there’s a Champion inside of everyone. But maybe the ‘Champion Fairy’ missed me. Or maybe I destroyed it with my alcohol abuse.”
I smiled and nodded, and responded from my heart: “There is a Champion in you! If you allow me, I will help you believe it. Then I will help you find him. We can resurrect him!”
With the expression on his face, I couldn’t quite tell if it was anger brewing or if he was holding back laughter.
He looked down, and after a moment of silence when he looked back up, I never expected to see the tears in his eyes.
I nodded again, looked into his tear-filled eyes, and spoke softly: “Yes! I am a certain there is a Champion in you!”
I hear this often. Particularly from people who’ve experienced trauma. But even those who have had only mild trauma or practically no trauma at all, they often struggle with the concept.
Perhaps you do too.
On a broadcast recently, the host asked me, “If you had to summarize what you view your job to be when working with people who have unresolved trauma, heart breaks, or disappointments, what would you say?”
Without even a slight pause, I responded: “In my heart I view it as simple as this: My job is to help them find the Champion within. And to help them see and discover the truths to resurrect the champion that still lives in them.”
Today I would like to share what I shared on that broadcast as well as with the client that thought the “Champion Fairy” might have missed him.
You simply must believe that there is a Champion in you.
No matter what you’ve accomplished or not, no matter your age, no matter your socioeconomic background, no matter your successes or failures…
Whether you are a CEO, a teacher, a single mom, a truck driver, or entrepreneur …
There is a Champion in you!
My goal this week, whether you have unresolved trauma, deep hurts, regrets, or disappointments … is to help you believe that there is a Champion in you! And help you discover where the champion’s voice was muted and why.
Here are the things that I shared on the broadcast that I say to help people accept and believe there is a Champion within:
1. THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU, ONLY ONE PERSON WHO HAS EVER LIVED WITH YOUR DNA, WITH YOUR UNIQUE GIFTS AND TALENTS.
Think about that.
When I was in the first grade, I was in the backseat with my sister and I asked my mother: “Is there another little girl like me somewhere?”
My dad was driving so she reached her hand into the backseat and placed it on my knee. She turned her head toward me, and with tenderness, she explained: “No … when God made you, you were so special that He never wanted to make anyone else exactly like you.”
Then she explained the same thing had happened two years before me when He made me with my sister, Ruana.
It was the first time in my life that I remembered feeling special. I often say that was my first glimpse into understanding there was a Champion in me too.
But because I was a terrified little girl when not in the presence of my mother, I quickly forgot.
It wasn’t until many years later that I understood the uniqueness of the DNA in each of us. Not only is our DNA unique, but we also have unique gifts and talents.
You too must have been very special because there’s only one of you. Only one ‘you’ that has the exact DNA you have. And the only one who has the unique gifts and talents within you. The challenge now is that the expressions of that DNA (our inner Champion) that makes us uniquely us gifts and all, was left unnurtured, void of affirmation, or told you’re not enough. So over time the champion grew quiet and dormant. But the Champion’s still in there-waiting to rise again!
They may not be gifts and talents to dance or perform… Or to program computers…Or to invent great things.
But you do have gifts. You do have talents. And I can assure you that someone in your world desperately wants and needs your gifts and your talents to shine on them and for them. Together, we will find all the truths you’re needing now to recover your Champion’s mantle and calling!
I hope that that alone helps you believe that there’s a-Champion in you!
2. REMEMBER YOUR SHINING MOMENTS.
One of the things that helps in remembering and believing there’s a Champion in us, is reflecting back on some shining moments.
For example, in working with the man who believed that the “Champion Fairy” missed him, I asked about shining moments in his childhood.
He told a wonderful story about a talent show in second or third grade. Others were playing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” on their the flutophones. Or doing two cartwheels in a row. Or showing something that they had painted on a poster.
His turn came, and he had learned every word to the number one hit from Kenny Rogers and the First Edition: “I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.”
No one knew he could sing, and he won the talent show.
As he recounted the story in great detail, even singing a few lines of it. I saw the Champion light up in his eyes again.
Then I asked him about a shining moment in his teen years. It had been the homecoming basketball game where his jump shot seized the victory.
As he recounted the details, I saw the Champion, again, come to life in him.
We reviewed another shining moment from his young adult life.
When he finished, I leaned forward and asked, “Do you know what all of those shining moments have in common?”
With a confused look he shook his head “no”. I almost whispered, as if it was a secret that had been guarded for many years: “Those shining moments were the Champion in you doing his best to step up and emerge and believe you could make a difference, that you wanted this moment, that you wanted to take the last shot! New Champion moments are waiting, and we WILL find them!”
His chin quivered a bit as he responded: “I knew there was something distinctly different about me in each of those moments. I had no idea. But did I drown the Champion with all of my drinking?”
I assured him that he had not. And then responded with the next point. (#3 below).
Please be assured that the “Champion Fairy “did not miss you either. Not only were you not missed, but there is also absolutely nothing you can do to destroy it.
You can keep it buried, or you can resurrect it.
Let’s resurrect the Champion in you.
What have been some of your shining moments as a child? As a teen? As a young adult?
They are all evidence that there is a Champion in you!
3. IF YOU ARE MEDICATING WITH ANY SUBSTANCE OR PROCESS, IT’S GREAT EVIDENCE THAT THERE IS A CHAMPION INSIDE OF YOU.
Just as the man I was working with had great fear that he had drown his Champion with all his drinking binges, many people who struggle with addictive substances or processes believe that they have either chased their Champion off, or that it no longer exists.
I’m a big believer that people do not use chemicals (alcohol, drugs, food, etc.) or processes (gambling, porn, nail biting, etc.) because they are bad people or losers.
They use substances or processes, to medicate painful reality.
Whether that be unresolved trauma, heart breaks, great losses, disappointments, or regrets …Deep within they CANNOT fathom the pain they might endure without some sort of medicating that too often becomes their ‘normal’.
Thus, the drinking of my client.
Intricately interwoven with all that pain, is the pain of a Champion wanting to emerge. If it were not so painful to wonder if there’s really a Champion within, or worse yet, if they were skipped over by the “Champion Fairy” (or even worse that the Champion doesn’t exist)…There would be no need to medicate.
When my client wondered if he had drowned his Champion in alcohol had asked me that question…My heart went out to him. But greater than that was the determination that arose within me…To do everything necessary for him to resurrect his Champion again!
We immediately began to address the addiction and call it what it was. (Not I like to drink a little!)
Like all addicts, he was not proud of his drinking. But no matter how many moments of resolve, how many commitments he made to himself, he always returned to the drinking before sundown.
We began to unearth unresolved trauma, great hurt, and deep disappointments. At the same time, he began attending meetings and working his 12-step program.
More and more we both were seeing and hearing the Champion come alive and be his new progression in life.
Don’t discard yourself or your hope for the Champion in you if you are using some sort of chemical or process to cope.
Roll up your sleeves and begin to work on any unresolved trauma, deep hurt, great losses, or multiple disappointments. At some point, you will no longer need to medicate and the Champion within you will emerge!
4. MOMENTS WHEN YOU GET INSPIRED WITH A SPARK OF HOPE (THAT QUICKLY FADE).
You’ve had these moments. You see a movie like “Rocky” or “Remember the Titans” or “Same Kind of Different As Me”, and you get that flash of inspiration.
At that moment something in you says: “I could do anything.”
- I could lose that 20 pounds.
- I could get my master’s degree.
- I could heal my marriage.
- I could get that promotion.
- I could start my own business.
But like most, you likely began to talk yourself out of it. The brilliance in the part of your brain that isn’t so “smart “begins to give you reasons:
- You don’t have any money.
- You’re not smart enough.
- You always think you can do things and you always quit.
- At your age?
- You don’t have what it takes.
The inspiration fades quickly. But for the moment you had it, it was like a rush of confidence, passion, and inspiration that made you feel like you could fly.
That, my friend, was a ‘visitation’ of the Champion in you trying to get your attention to let you know-they’re ready when you are. The next time that occurs, tell the Champion to, “Hold on you’re coming for them!”
The client I was working with had already heard this from me. “The next time you have one of those moments of inspiration, acknowledge that it is the Champion in you! And this is where and when the journey to our Champion’s resurrection begins!”
It had been quite some time since he’d experienced one of those moments. But just in case…He knew what to do.
I got the call and in the first three words of the voice message he left, I knew he had the moment from the tone of his voice.
He had been driving back to Dallas from a horse show in West Texas. There was such static on all the country music stations, that he decided to listen to a broadcast on his phone, via Bluetooth through his truck speakers.
He had pulled over for gas and searched for a “champion speech.” It pulled up a broadcast from Joel Osteen. Although he wasn’t a fan, he decided to listen anyway.
In the voice message he said, “Toward the end of the message-it happened! That moment of inspiration you talked about. I hadn’t had it in years! It was a long way to the next exit, so I pulled over onto the shoulder of the road. I could not choke back the tears.”
“Just like you said to do, I acknowledged him. I whispered to him: ‘Hey little Champion! I am so glad you’re still here! I will never push you down again! Please stay with me!’”
The message continued: “I couldn’t believe it! Me? A macho farm dude whispering to a Champion? But it was so-real!”
And although I had never coached him on this, he added: “I promise you … I will never drink again.” I choked up as I listened to the message.
I knew he had had his moment and believed that the Champion was alive and well in him!
I want to assure you of the same thing. You will have another of those moments of inspiration.
Stop that part of your brain that begins to talk to you out of that moment and welcome the Champion in you to take center stage!
5. MOMENTS OF DESIRE TO BREAK OUT OF BEING A PRISONER TO THE ORDINARY
There are other moments that will help you believe that there is indeed a Champion in you.
Rarely do I have a client who does not say something similar to this in their process, regardless of why they came for counseling or coaching.
“I have these moments when I desire to break out of being a prisoner to this kind of ordinary life.”
Then they will use their own descriptors:
- I’m so sick of living paycheck to paycheck
- I’m so tired of the same old same old
- I am really over my J – O – B, but it pays well
- I never have any time for me anymore
- Life just isn’t fun anymore
- I want more
- Surely this isn’t all there is
Then they speak of those moments of dreams of what might happen if they could break free from the prison of ordinary:
- I want to make a difference
- I want to leave a legacy
- I want to do something I love and make great money at it
- I want to influence people
- I want to love my life again
- I want more time and freedom to enjoy life
- I want my marriage to be sweet again
You recognize those moments, don’t you?
If I summed it all up, I would say the message is this:
“I want to do something meaningful and make a difference, and I want an extraordinary life.”
I’m delighted to hear that you have those moments, although they likely disappear quickly.
Those moments are the Champion in you. The Champion in each of us wants to make a difference.
And when you discover the tools and truths to resurrect the Champion within (And WE WILL find the ones tailored for your DNA) that can begin to happen in you.
The client that I was working with who believed that the “Champion Fairy” had missed him, that had pulled over his truck at a priceless moment to speak to the Champion… Also had this moment of longing to step out of the ordinary into extraordinary.
For him, it came when his wife came back from a cruise that she did annually with her sorority friends from college.
That moment, he saw the light in her eyes that he missed. He heard the excited tone in her voice that he rarely ever heard anymore.
He never felt like he could get away for a full week because raising horses takes daily work. Working the land required daily work. But at that moment, he had an “epiphany.”
As he was telling me the story, I chuckled when he said: “It’s all the Champions fault, but I knew it was time to sell some of the land, to train some high school boys to take care of the horses and begin living.”
He did indeed sell some of his land, he connected with the local high school Equestrian Club and found some young men to train to take care of his horses.
He had kept it to himself up to that point, but he sat down with his wife at dinner and said: “I’d like to go on a cruise with you.” He said she jumped right up and gave him the biggest hug he had experienced in years. Then immediately pulled out her iPad and typed in Carnival Cruise.com.
He had already done his research, and said to her, “Baby, it’s time for us to enjoy life. We will go on Carnival regularly, but you book us on a Princess Cruise.”
He explained to me that the Champion had better financial sense than he did. He had been sitting on valuable land and holding onto valuable assets for a ‘rainy day’.
Once again, he blamed the awesome Champion who had inspire him: “Sell some of your assets and enjoy it now. We can’t put all those horses or all that land in your casket.” I had to chuckle at that!
All of us want more. Not just more finances, but more opportunity to make a difference.
Recently we touched base and he said, “You know what the best thing that Champion did for me?” I can assure you that I definitely wanted to know!
He said, “The smartest thing that Champion ever did, was have me go to the high school and find some young men to take under my wing.”
He continued: “I’ve taught them more than they would ever learn in their club about horse. But more importantly, I’ve taught them a work ethic. I’ve taught them about integrity, and I’ve taught them to love their families.”
He shared with me a letter he had recently received from one of the teen’s moms. She was a single mom and had been struggling to make sure that her son had exposure to great men.
She told him she could never thank him enough for the transformation she’d seen in her son as a result of their time together at the barn.
My client had made a difference! And hopes to always keep four or five teen aged boys under his wing.
He grinned as he shared with me, “I don’t think she understood my response.” I looked at him curiously and he said, “Well thank you ma’am. But all I did was to help him find the Champion that was always in him!”
What about you?
What will you do the next time you have that moment of inspiration of wanting more?
More of the extraordinary life,
more of an opportunity
to make a difference?
Will you step into it?
That is my hope and prayer for you.
That you will begin to truly believe that there is a Champion in you.
Because there is!
And you, your spouse, your family, your community, and your world need what that Champion in you has to offer!
CALLING ALL CHAMPIONS…LET’S DISCOVER WHAT MAKES US COME ALIVE…AND DO IT!