Yes! I’m talking to you! No matter where you are on your journey, your DNA has the programming of wings to fly… to take you to greater places!
I was just a little girl when this revelation came to me. Maybe it was the science class I was in, maybe it was a moment of mania (at least that’s what I was told…) Or perhaps it was God.
From that intro you might expect me to begin to tell you about how amazing my childhood and teenage years were. However, that certainly was not the case. Why? Well… Richard Marx’s song probably explains it best. When I heard it the first time … I would have sworn that it was written for me and about me. In case you’ve never heard of it, here is a YouTube link to the song. I was in a rental car driving in another city, and turned on the radio. There was something about the song that caught my attention. Halfway through the song my eyes were burning with tears, and I actually took an exit to savor the rest of the song. It was before I knew anything about Shazam, so I was trying to write down enough lyrics to see if I could. find the song later. But it had such an impact on me that my hands were trembling, and I only caught a few of the lyrics. I scribbled them down in the dark. The lyrics that I scribbled ran through my mind day and night until I was finally able to find the song.
Here are the lyrics:
I’ve
been trying to open the door
To the secret of my destiny
And every new road I think is the one
Seems to lead right back to me
I’ve looked for a way to be wiser
A way to be strong
Now I see the answer was hiding
In me all along
And I’m ready to fly
Over the sun
Like a rocket to heaven
And I’m ready to soar
Right through the sky
Never dreamed I’d find something to lift me so
high
I’ve always had wings
But I wasn’t ready to fly
Restless, hopeless, and misunderstood
Like so many others I know
So busy tryin’ to keep holdin’ on
When I should’ve been letting go
I was given the gift to find it
The spirit inside me
But I never really imagined
All I could be
Chorus:
And I’m ready to fly
Over the sun
Like a rocket to heaven
And I’m ready to soar
Right through the sky
Never dreamed I’d find something to lift me so
high
I’ve always had wings
But I wasn’t ready to fly
The answer to all of my wonder
Was right in my hands
Now it’s time for me to discover
All that I am
And I’m ready to fly
Over the sun
Like a rocket to heaven
And I’m ready to soar
Right through the sky
Never dreamed I’d find something to lift me so
high
I’ve always had wings
But I wasn’t ready to fly
I’ve always had wings
Now I’m finally ready to fly
No matter where you are my friend, no matter what you’re going through, no matter what your financial state, no matter what your relationships look like … there are wings in your DNA, and you were created to fly!
What does flying mean? It means different things to different people. But I like to summarize it this way… there are great things for you to do, and you can have an extraordinary life. You get to define what that means for you.
When I speak at events, or speak to my clients, it is amazing the resistance that I hear in response to this concept. Things like, “Well that all sounds good, but I need great improvement in my finances.” The Bible says ”The poor will always be with you.” I always laugh and say, yes it does! But it doesn’t say it has to be YOU!
Or they will come back with comments such as… “Well I just came from a very simple, humble beginning.“ I smile and say “Bless your heart! But you don’t have to have a simple, humble end!” (Now that doesn’t mean to become prideful and arrogant!)
I was born into this world as a terrified little girl. I lived in terror during the day and during the night every day of my life until my mid-20s. People who know me now have a hard time believing that, although it is the honest truth! I had every reason in the world to believe that I could never accomplish anything, or make any worthy contribution to anyone or anything in this life. Yet I dared to spread my wings and fly.
The same is true for you. And once you believe that, you can expect a transformation, or a chrysalis in your life.
I love the word chrysalis, because it is used to describe the process of a caterpillar going into its cocoon and eventually emerging as a butterfly. I certainly understand what it’s like to feel like a worm crawling on my belly. I bet you had some experiences in life like that as well. And I’ve always hated dark stressful places in life. They scared me. I wasn’t sure what they meant, or what was going to happen. Honestly, I believed they were either punishment, or because I was a bad person.
It wasn’t until years later that I understood that sometimes those dark places were preparation for something great.
I see it in my office all the time. Couples come in together and they’ve hit some rough spots. And interestingly enough they are usually asking me to help them through the rough spot. They’re usually asking me things like, “Is this the right relationship for me? Should I just give up right now?” People often don’t like my answers, and certainly the media does not make efforts to popularize the truth.
Research says that the greater the struggle, the greater the potential for intimacy. Yet we work hard to avoid the struggle, and tend to give up on relationships, friendships, business opportunities, and other things that could simply be preparation for a chrysalis. I’m certainly not saying that I enjoy tough spots and dark moments in life. However, I have learned to lean into them, and to expect to fly!
Can you imagine the butterfly inside the cocoon? It’s dark in there… It’s lonely in there… It’s very restricting. And yet there finally comes that moment when they work their way out of the darkness, spread their wings, and begin to fly. Just thinking about that brings me great hope.
I’ve noticed through the years that people normally fall into one of five categories when it comes to their wings and to flying. Maybe you will find yourself in one of these categories. Regardless of what position you may be in … remember it is in your DNA to fly!
1. You don’t know or don’t believe you can fly. I spent the first half of my life in this position. And I have had the privilege of working with hundreds of people in this position. Some simply don’t know, and watching their countenance change as they consider the possibility is absolutely priceless. When I teach parenting classes and blended family classes, one of the things I speak to parents about is the delicate balance. Making sure your kids know that they can fly home without over empowering them. Because if they are given wings without their time in the cocoon, they can foster the beginnings of narcissism. Hopefully someone in your life saw your potential and assured you that you were born to fly! If not, it’s never too late to get your wings!
2. Maybe you are one of those in the cocoon developing your wings. One of the things we know is that if you cut a butterfly out of their cocoon too soon, it stunts the growth of their wings, and they will likely never fly. Time in the cocoon is not easy. It takes courage. You simply must believe that things can and will get better! Surround yourself with people who will not cut the cocoon early, but who will cheer you on and encourage you!
3. Perhaps you have found your wings and you are flying high. Enjoy the flight. Things look quite different at 10,000 feet above the noise and the circumstances. Use it as time to grow, to increase your understanding of yourself and others, and to make note of who you are in flight. Because that determines your ability to enjoy many flights to come. In other words, don’t allow arrogance to creep in. If you remain grateful, your wisdom and understanding will grow exponentially.
4. Perhaps you are in the place where real greatness lies, where you have found your wings, and now you are committed to helping others find their wings and take flight. It was such an extraordinary experience for me personally. It had a lot to do with my relationship with God. However, it did not compare to the moment that I understood the great cause in my life: helping others to find their wings and learn to fly. There is nothing in the world that compares to this experience for me. It’s one of the reasons I began training and certifying Life Coaches. Not only could I teach them to fly, but I could teach them to teach others to fly. There is no greater joy than watching Life Coaches teaching others to fly. Reading their stories, and seeing their results, which are often greater than mine, brings me tremendous joy.
5. Likely no one reading this is in this position, but it’s important as you learn to fly or teach others to fly that you are aware of the snipers. Wing snipers are those who have unfortunately had bad life experiences catch them and they have either lost their wings or have never quite had the opportunity to find them. Or, sad to say, maybe someone cut them out of their cocoon prematurely, and their wings were damaged. And if they did not have the privilege of someone working them through that situation, they are prone to become snipers. The anger and bitterness of losing their own wings is often unbearable. And it appears that their singular life goal is to snipe down anyone else who finds their wings.
A number of years ago, I had a young man come through Life Coaching Institute that was sponsored by someone else. He told me in the midst of that course that he believed in his heart that he was destined for great things. However, he also told me that his dad had grown up in some unfortunate circumstances, and that his dad seemed to be the continuous rain on his parade. (A true sniper). His dad was usually depressed and angry, never offering encouragement.
We did an exercise in the process of the Coach Training that was beautiful to experience. We helped him find his wings, and over the course of the next few months he took flight. He went back to complete his college degree, and obtained the degree that his father had wanted him to have, hoping that it would make his dad proud. Sadly, that mission failed. But through the experience he was able to go back and speak to his dad and tell him that he was now going to pursue his own dream. He developed a series of powerful workshops, and began delivering them all over the world. I recently heard from him, and he told me that he remembered what I had told him when he found his wings… That the greatest fulfillment in life would be in helping others find their wings. He told me that although he maintained a respectful relationship with his father after graduation, he really had given up on him.
But my words kept coming back to him, so he dared to invite his dad to attend one of his workshops. He never dreamed his dad would actually participate, but not only did his dad come, he was able to help his dad find his wings. He told me, “If my life ended today, I cannot imagine anything that could have been more fulfilling!”
I understood him totally, because I have the privilege and honor of feeling that way every day!
No matter where you are right now, please remember that your DNA is programmed with wings! Do whatever it takes to find them… Because you were born to fly!
