My client rushed into my office with urgency: “I read this quote this week, and it’s like everything you’ve been saying to me is summarized here:
‘The number one goal of life is developing mastery in your unique ability and thus living out your unique calling and your purpose at the highest possible level’.” (Dan Sullivan)
I nodded with curiosity about her dilemma.
“The problem is, I missed the Power of Purpose, so I have NO IDEA what my purpose is. But I also have no idea what this unique ability and unique calling ‘thing’ is all about either!”
Before I could comment, she jumped back in.
“And you know … I want to live at the highest level possible … so no wonder ‘mediocre’ is where I’m stuck!”
She paused, gathered herself, and went on.
“It’s not like my life is all that bad. But I’m tired of always circling back to this place … ‘so-so’ … ‘mediocre’ … ‘just another day’ … ‘that exhausting hamster wheel of the same ole same ole’ …”
It all made sense, and I understood her dilemma completely.
With sincere empathy, I commented: “I really do grasp why this is so concerning to you!”
I continued: “I think we all want to live at the highest level possible, but we often either don’t know how … or know what it takes to get there … Then there are others who are unwilling to do the work that launches us into living at the highest level possible.”
As I was sharing with my client, I was reminded of one of Steve Jobs’ popular quotes:
“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
I think there’s so much wisdom in that.
For me personally, I add listening to God … but it is true that to live at our highest level, we must do some difficult things (including turning down the volume on the opinion of others – except for trusted mentors).
Jesus didn’t say, “Well you shouldn’t have tried to move THAT mountain to begin with.”
No. He entered mid-mountain-moving and said regroup yourself and say the positive things to your heart that can move it!
I assured my client that we could work through these things together to create an abundant and fulfilling future, all while being lived from her highest level.
I believe we all want that.
It looks different for each of us.
It has a different path for each of us.
You know me. I always encourage all of us to get honest and real. What is it that you’ve always wanted to do?
If you’re doing it … great!
The get honest part is … what is it? The get real part is … are you gifted to do it? I know both answers are yes … begin to set the stage to make it happen! Remember? You move a mountain a shovel full at a time!
I would say that about 70% of the people I have seen through the years (as clients, in my treatment centers, in my workshops) have struggled with the very things that prevent us from living at our highest level:
- Unresolved trauma
- Stuck in “settling”
- Drifting (lack of direction)
- Tired of mediocre
- Believing they were victim to the “hand” that “life had dealt them”
Nothing could be further from the truth. And I don’t want you to be one of them!
That is why I’m sharing my client’s story with you this week!
I hope you’ll find this helpful and begin your journey to living from your highest level. Although we never “arrive” … the journey just keeps lifting us higher and higher!
1. Your unique abilities.
“What makes knowing my unique abilities so important?” my client asked.
“Great question!” I responded. Let’s look at the researched benefits of knowing your unique abilities!”
- Greater self-understanding
- Better self esteem
- Improved self-awareness
- Increased confidence
- Heightened ability to contribute
- More precise focus
- Boosted desire for positive influence
“Well, a few of those things alone would probably help me live from a higher level!” my client observed!
I agreed.
“So how do I get started?” she asked.
I shared these suggestions with her.
I hope you will follow or do them also.
First, answer these questions about yourself. I hope you will write them down … it has a different impact on the wiring in your brain than when we just “think about” the answers.
Writing, seeing, saying, hearing = full impact.
- What “comes easy” to me in life?
- What can I do that seems “helpful to others” in my life?
- What can I do that feels “second nature” to me?
These answers give you some insights about your unique abilities.
My client’s answers were very helpful in her process:
- What “comes easy” to her is seeing solutions to problems; connecting with others regardless of age, gender, or socioeconomic position and thinking outside the box.
- What she can do that seems “helpful to others” is to take tense moments and add humor to reduce stress; to listen well; to validate different perspectives.
- What feels “second nature” to her is to care about others; to want to be a part of solutions; to empathize and understand others.
What about you?
The second assignment I gave her was to ask at least 5 people who’d known her for a while and had seen her across a variety of situations a few questions.
I suggested she test or email them with a message like: “I am searching for my unique gifts, calling, and purpose in life. I am working with a coach who suggested that I send this short questionnaire out to people I know and respect … who would be willing to give me honest feedback?”
- What would you say are my greatest strengths?
- What would you say are things that come easy for me?
- What natural abilities do you see that I have?
- What do you see that I do that’s helpful to others?
She received some excellent feedback.
I had her add their responses to the list she’d begun by asking herself some questions.
Then I asked her to take the High 5 Test.
It’s a free online assessment with 120 questions.
I assured her that answering the 120 questions alone would be great at assisting her in assessing her unique abilities.
I believe it will be equally as helpful for you. Here is the link: https://high5test.com/personality-test-for-individuals/
Also, at the end, if you’d like more than the abbreviated report, you can pay $29 for it, but it is not required.
My client chose to purchase the full report, from which she pulled many more of her unique abilities.
I hope you will take the time to do all 3 things that I went through with her.
You’re looking, longing, probing, searching for your epiphany towards purpose that you WILL discover by uncovering the wisdom found in these resources.
Your ah-ha moment will find you!
“Celebrate the idea that you don’t fit in. Find your own fit. Stay unique.”
Betsey Johnson
Remember, knowing your unique abilities is an important part of the equation for living at your highest level!
2. Your unique calling and purpose.
My client started her session by asking with a bit of trepidation: “Do I have to wait for the next Power of Purpose to get this piece?”
I assured her we could get started on this, but that I would encourage her to attend the next Power of Purpose workshop to get the full context of her purpose.
What is our unique calling and purpose?
Our unique calling and purpose are the reasons “we are here”.
It’s the reason you/I exist.
It usually develops and morphs as our lives progress.
Dr. Benjamin Hardy puts it in this context:
“The more you explore and refine your unique ability, the more you’re doing your work, not someone else’s. You’ll reach a level of unique mastery that becomes increasingly obvious and impactful to yourself and those around you, the more your life’s work begins to feel like a sacred calling.”
We already know from research that those who’ve found a sense of purpose in their work have a greater sense of well-being and happiness.
What are some of the benefits of finding your purpose and your unique calling according to research?
- Higher functioning immune system
- Greater quality of life
- Less depression and sadness
- Decreased incidence of anxiety
- Improvement in symptoms of ADD/ADHD
- Greater quality of sleep
- Healthier relationships
- Greater financial satisfaction
- Protection from heart disease
- Less likely to develop memory loss or dementia
- More resiliency when facing challenges
- Greater energy levels
- Less addiction
- More joy
- More peace of mind
- More fulfillment
- Many more
Until you can attend the Power of Purpose, here are some of the questions you can answer to help you consider your unique calling and purpose. (Along with a few of my client’s responses in parentheses).
- What things in life feel the most meaningful to you? (Problem solving, creative strategies, seeing people encouraged, seeing teams come together with great synergy)
- What things do you do that bring you the greatest sense of fulfillment? (Collaboration, bringing humor to a situation to ignite creativity, seeing people step out of old patterns and soaring)
- What contribution would you most love to make in your lifetime? (A video series or book that helps people get “unstuck”)
- If you could make a difference in the lives of others, how would you love to do that (if there were no obstacles)? (Teaching seminars, writing books, training)
- When you place your head on your pillow at night, what brings you the most peace? (Knowing I’ve made a difference).
From those answers, you can likely see a general direction for purpose.
So … Here’s what my client came up with:
“My unique calling is to instill hope in individuals, families, groups, and teams that their best influence is just around the bend. To equip them to relentlessly seek for that and fulfill it!”
When she read it to me, I commented sincerely: “Beautifully done!” Then I inquired: “How does it feel to you?”
Her response: “Unique, authentic, and powerfully fulfilling!”
“WOW!” I said with a heartfelt nod!
What about you? Start with a “working purpose” … You can refine it as you step into it!
3. Living at the highest level.
“There’s no other place that I’m willing to live any longer!” my client proclaimed.
I asked her if the work on identifying her unique abilities and unique calling and purpose would help her live in that place?
Her response was so powerful that I asked her if she would email it to me and allow me to share it. She was gracious to do so:
“This may sound strange but identifying my unique abilities and unique calling over the past few weeks has given me permission to live at the highest level. I grew up in an environment where I was ‘baptized’ in the belief that one should be very careful to not appear ‘haughty’ or ‘prideful.’ Although that’s foundational to good character, it also caused me to ‘put a lid’ on what I believed I could and desired to do. Well … the lid is off! I will step into the highest level of living and keep stepping up!”
I hope that looking at your unique abilities, unique calling, and purpose has also equipped you to begin living at a higher level.
Here are a few of the ways you can step into living at a higher level.
- Get clear on your values and allow them to be your guardrails in life. Sometimes life is full of winding roads and broken bridges. Having values to which you’re devoted will keep you between the guardrails no matter how challenging life becomes.
- Only compare your progress against where you were last week or last month. Never allow your progress to be measured by what others have accomplished. Competing with them is not what will take you to your unique highest level of living.
- Practice gratitude daily. Whether it’s a journal or time that you set aside to meditate on what you’re grateful for … it will keep you living at the highest level.
There are many more I could share. But start there.
Just do it! Just get started.
They are your right ‘next steps’ once you know you’ll know …
Your unique abilities …
Your unique calling …
Your unique purpose …
Again, just get stated!
***********
I love how Maya Angelou speaks to this:
“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love.
Don’t make money your goal.
Instead pursue the things you love doing.
And then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off you.”
We all want to live our lives at the highest level.
Some call it self-actualization.
Some call it the road less traveled.
Some call it the highway to heaven.
Whatever you choose to call it … it is beckoning you!
I hope you will respond because it IS hope … that IS calling YOU!
The world needs your unique calling and your unique contribution.
