“It’s a piece of wood that’s been drifting out on the ocean. Came from nowhere and is going nowhere, and it finally came to shore to be burnt up as firewood. So, we call it driftwood.”
That was the answer my dad gave me as a little girl. We were walking on the beach, and I had pointed at it and asked him: “What’s that daddy?”
“Well I’m glad I’m not one of those!” I told him.
“And you better not ever become one either!” He muttered as we walked on.
I never forgot.
Throughout my life, when I felt uncertainty about what was next, I would catch a vision of me floating out at sea with nowhere to go. But realizing that I could end up on shore burnt up as firewood!
It was quite a visual that has always kept me diligent about not allowing myself to drift. Like Gretchen Rubin, an attorney who writes about happiness says, I, too, fear drifting:
“I fear drift. Drift feels small, but once unleashed, drift is powerful, often almost unstoppable.”
At present and in the future, there’ll an avalanche of ‘digital’ things vying for our attention. They happen to all of us as equal opportunity distractions. That all can send us adriftin’.
We often know we are drifting but we settle for the stimuli that our wired-up world provides, keeping us from what we know deep within will give us purpose.
So, committing to just ONE non-drifting purposeful thing, will create room for you to add the second and the third and then before you know it, onward you go…drafting on your own wind and waves!
Research has indicated that over 60% of our lives are spent drifting, just allowing life, programming, and circumstances to chart our course… while we drift along unaware!
“We move fast and have so many things vying for our attention — texts, emails, meetings, news updates — that our brains can get overwhelmed and lean on habits as a way to conserve precious mental space and energy. As a result, many of us end up going through life on autopilot, floating day to day.
As Daniel Harkavy, CEO of Building Champions says:
“Without any real sense of purpose or direction. And before long, we end up someplace in our personal or professional lives where we never intended to be, and we have no idea how we got there.”
Whether you are totally adrift at sea in your life, in good shape except for the 50-60% of the time when you are on auto pilot, or feel laser focused on the direction of your life…I’d love to share with you how I live, and how I coach my clients, workshop attendees, and online audience to create an extraordinary year you will never forget!
And then do it again and again and again!
WOULDN’T YOU RATHER DRAFT AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE THAN TO DRIFT INTO SOMETHING YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER CHOSEN?
It’s definitely-time. And it’s not too late! No matter your age, no matter how many poor decisions you’ve made, let’s get on track for an extraordinary year.
(A note…If you were watching television in the 1970s and early 80s, Little House on the Prairie may have very well been a staple of your weekly schedule. But the tale of the Ingalls family’s farm life wouldn’t exist had it not been written into existence by its namesake, Laura Ingalls Wilder. At age 65, she decided to pen an account of her life growing up in America. The series was a hit, and stretched out over a course of 9 books…
PROOF that it’s never too late!)
1. Assess where you are.
With a smart phone, a vehicle, and gas money, we can go almost anywhere! But whether you are using your GPS to get to the nearest gas station or to guide you from the east coast to the west coast…the first thing your GPS needs to know…is your current location.
Whether you allow your phone to automatically detect your current location, or whether you must enter it manually, you won’t get direction until you know your current location.
The same is true in focusing on and strategizing the course of your life.
I like to do this in a very specific way. You may have your own way of doing that. If you do, that’s certainly fine. But just in case you don’t, I’d like to share mine. If you’d like the worksheet, you can get it by clicking here: https://bit.ly/DraftVsDriftWorksheet.
I like to use a pie chart with 7 pieces, each represented one of the 7 core areas of life.
You may note that the first letter of the seven core areas spells out the word RESPECT. An appropriate word because as we improve all of these areas, we are developing more respect for ourselves and for others!
Here are the 7 core areas (with definitions) if you’d like to draw your own:
- Relationships – Assessing the health of your relationships with spouse, significant other, friends, family, co-workers.
- Emotional Mastery – Developing the ability to identify and feel every emotion, determining the gift available to you in each emotion. Then to using the gift of the emotion to chart a course forward that empowers you AND inspires those around you.
- Spiritual Growth – The act of accepting that you have a life spark that was given to you and practicing the purposeful and intentional act of shining that life spark onto individuals, groups, and organizations in a way that inspires them to light up the darkness of others. Creating a cascade of light and life with your one small spark.
- Purposeful Living with Priority – Prioritizing daily life by things that align with your life’s purpose.
- Energy & Health – Taking care of your health, wellness, and vibrancy with powerful lifestyle practices.
- Career & Finances – Managing how you earn and create financial gain and manage career your career and/or business.
- Touching Others – Building a legacy by making a difference in others.
Rate your level of accomplishment/satisfaction with each of the areas from 1% to 100%.
Begin at the tip of the pie piece, from the center dot, and color in the percentage of each piece that clearly represents where you believe yourself to be presently.
Next, cut out all the colored areas so you can see the shape of your “wheel of life.” (If you download the sample, you can get a clear visual of a cut out: https://bit.ly/DraftVsDriftWorksheet).
Holding it in front of you, as if it were one of 4 identical wheels on the vehicle of your life.
Ask yourself: Does this represent my life? How smooth will my ride be?
This is for you only, so be honest with yourself.
This gives you great clues to what you might want to focus on to create an extraordinary year. (More about that in weeks to come).
No judgement.
No shame.
Just truth that inspires you…
To end the drifting!
WOULDN’T YOU RATHER DRAFT A YEAR OF GROWTH INSTEAD OF DRIFTING INTO A YEAR OF LESS THAN YOU DESERVE?
(Speaking of changing course by taking chances…Brad Pitt was a limo driver. He also used to be a furniture mover and dressed up as a giant chicken mascot for the restaurant chain El Pollo Loco. With that, he then decided to pursue an acting career and enrolled in acting classes. And within 7 months, he found an agent. Today, he’s now one of the most famous and recognizable superstars in the world…from drifting to drafting.)
2. Determine who you desire to become.
Although most people put some thought into what they want to do with their lives; except for those who are drifting … we could all do well to put more devoted thought into it!
However, rarely do we approach our lives with WHO we desire to become as a foundational consideration.
I believe that drifting in that area is how we lose ourselves. How we end up in trouble. How we end up in addictions.
Recently, I visited with a client that I had worked with years ago.
Although our focus at this visit was on helping his young adult son get clarity on his purpose and life’s direction, he shared something with me that made great sense.
“When I first started seeing you years ago, you taught our group about all that purpose, vision, strategy stuff. I honestly thought it was bull. I just figured life would work out. I think you called that drifting. I guess I thought I was better than that.”
“Before I knew it, I had drifted into alcoholism. You remember that I was a ‘good alcoholic.’ I didn’t drink on the job, I didn’t run around on my wife, I didn’t bankrupt us. I just had no time or patience for anything but my next drink. Certainly not for my wife or kids.”
“After you got me sober, I realized that as I sat in AA meetings…all these people drifted into alcoholism. No one planned it. They just didn’t do all that ‘stuff’ you tried to get all of us to do.”
“That’s why I want you to help me with my son. I don’t want him to drift there too.”
I teared up listening to his story, in gratefulness that he found his way, and in admiration for what he was doing for his son.
He continued.
“I want him to find his path and purpose, but I also want you to do that thing where you help him consider who he wants to become. I never wanted to become an alcoholic, but I was too foolish to do the work you’d suggested in building my life about who I wanted to become, or as you always say: ‘who you were created to be’.”
What about you?
Are you willing to take some time and consider who you’d like to be? Who you were created to be?
How do you do that?
If you downloaded the worksheet in point #1, there is a place to work through this. If you missed it, click here: https://bit.ly/DraftVsDriftWorksheet.
Or you can grab a piece of paper and ask yourself these questions:
- When I look at the wheel of my life (from point #1) who could I become that would make me able to broaden my accomplishments/satisfaction with each of the 7 areas of my life?
- When I face challenges, what do I see in who I am and how I react that I would like to see change? Give some descriptors of those.
- What do I admire about the character of others I respect that I would like to see in myself.
Answering those questions give you some ideas to choose from about who you would like to be/become.
For example, when working with my client’s son (I invited them to go through it together with me to not only get his son exposed to what he believed would help him, but we could also do some dad/son bonding) …
his son identified some words/phrases that described who he hoped to become in the next year:
better leader
more compassionate
stronger faith
disciplined with my time
less reactive
Don’t allow your growth, development, or character to drift.
Assess where there’s room for improvement (or in drastic need of improvement) and find words for them.
Please take time to do this. Don’t allow yourself to “drift” into becoming less that you are, less than you were created to be.
WOULDN’T YOU RATHER DRAFT A YEAR OF BECOMING ALL YOU WERE CREATED TO BE INSTEAD OF DRIFTING INTO SOMETHING LESSER THAN THE GREATNESS IN YOU?
Although I don’t know who you were created to be, I do know it’s someone great who matches your gifts and uniqueness.
(A note…Oprah describes the feeling of finding your purpose and stop the drifting like this: “Passion whispers to you through your feelings, beckoning you toward your highest good. Pay attention to what makes you feel energized, connected, and stimulated. Follow your intuition, do what you love, and you will do more than succeed.”)
Step into it consciously! We all need your very best!
And remember this truth from the Psalms… “The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations.”
3. Create a POWER WORD.
Now that you have carefully considered who you desire to grow to become … this is the FUN part!
Let’s create a power word. What is a power word…you might ask?
It’s a word that describes (as much as possible) who you will become in the coming year that summarizes all your words and phrases. It must feel empowering, and it must have at least 5 letters.
If you will remember … when I was working with my client’s son he’d chosen words and phrases of who he wanted to become in the coming year:
-Better leader
-More compassionate
-Stronger faith
-Disciplined with my time
-Less reactive
When I invited him to think of a power word, he immediately popped his out: “Unwavering!”
“WOW!” I exclaimed. “Very powerful and more than five letters for sure!”
He beamed as his dad looked at him with touching admiration! I could tell he was one proud dad.
I, on the other hand, was a bit concerned about the length of the word because he didn’t know the next step!
But…before we go to the next step…what word would describe who you will become if (and when) you address and live all of the words and phrases you identified?
Make sure it feels powerful! Make sure it contains five or more letters!
Now…the next step. (And why was I concerned about the length of his word?)
Write the word vertically on a page or on the worksheet I provided. (You can click here to get it: https://bit.ly/DraftVsDriftWorksheet).
Then write short words or phrases beginning with each letter of your power word that describe things you will do or be … in order to become who you desire to be in the coming year.
Without missing a beat, the young man took his pen and began writing his word vertically.
Although he paused occasionally to look out over the golf course and consider some things, he continued to write, and finished in half the time of his dad whose word was MENTOR.
Here are a few of his:
U- Understanding before responding
N- Noble consideration of others
W-Worthy use of my time
A- Appreciation for my family & friends
V- Value adding in all my endeavors
E
R
I
N
G
Create your power word. And all the descriptors.
Then you must say the word and all the descriptors aloud each morning.
Say it powerfully.
Stand tall!
You’re on your way!
Do it faithfully!
By the end of the first month, you will already notice a major difference.
Then in any challenging moments, instead of reacting, moaning, swearing, yelling or anything else…say your POWER WORD aloud.
If you’re in a setting where you can’t do that, at least say it again and again in your head.
It will have a dramatic effect on the moment, on your future, on your life!
WOULDN’T YOU RATHER DRAFT A POWER WORD THAT WILL DIRECT YOUR LIFE INSTEAD OF DRIFTING INTO WHAT FEELS RIGHT AT THE MOMENT, BUT DOES NOT SHOW WHO YOU TRULY ARE?
As the ancient proverb declares… “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”
*************
You can draft an extraordinary life by doing these 3 things.
(Of course, there is more coming about drafting an extraordinary life if you would like to follow me in the coming weeks.)
One of the less obvious signs that you’re drifting in your life is if you are dreaming, wishing, or hoping that you could do something other than what you are doing with your life, but you just keep hoping that someday.
OOPS! Likely that applies to way too many of us. When I realized that, I knew that I would always be a dreamer. But not just a dreamer. A doer, a planner, a go getter!
I’ve accomplished many of my life’s dreams. I am grateful. Yet I am still dreaming, still going for it! Because I will NOT drift to my grave!
It’s all about living intentionally! Which prevents the drift!
Let’s do this! TOGETHER!
