Do you remember where you were 19 months ago today? I remember distinctively where I was at 2:30 PM on that day. It was the Monday after Thanksgiving 2016. At 2 PM, I had been on a conference call with Dave Ramsey?s group, enrolling to become a financial coach.
Then I was preparing to carry some toys to a storage room upstairs at my awesome church for the Christmas extravaganza we do annually.
With my arms loaded with donations of toys from the day before, I ran up the stairs, with the intention of turning the lights on once I got to them. Little did I know that there would be plastic chair mats, meant for rolling your chair on carpet, stacked at the top of the stairs. I stepped onto them with momentum and surfed across the polished concrete in the dark, losing my balance and flipping in the air, and landing on my right side. All I know is that the screams that ensued apparently traumatized the people who heard them. They were screams that I could not suppress.
In a matter of minutes, much of the church staff was surrounding me as someone called 911. I don?t remember a lot of what occurred over the next few hours. But I do remember hearing the sound of sirens, and hoping desperately that they were coming to help me. I also remember my amazing Pastor, Kendall Bridges (and Starla Bridges), telling the EMTs that ?this is a tough girl so it must be serious for her to be screaming.?
Little did I know at that moment, that my elbow was crushed and would be replaced, and my shoulder blade was also broken and would be wired back together with plates and screws. Yes! I remember where I was 19 months ago today. Why? Because it was a significant emotional event.
You may not remember where you were 19 months ago today, but I bet you remember where you were when you heard about the tragedy of 911. I bet you remember how you found out, and how you felt about the horrible tragedies.
Why do I remember November 28, 2016? Why do you and I remember 911? Because we had significant emotion attached to those events. And although in both of those cases, the emotions were not necessarily positive ones, they were so impactful that we remember!
We can take that same concept and use it for the positive to make needed changes in our lives!
One of the questions I get asked the most often in my coaching practice is whether or not people can really change? The answer is? Absolutely! You can change an addiction; you can change the way you eat and exercise and lose weight permanently; you can change your relationship from one of ongoing bickering to one of pure joy!
If that?s so, why do people believe they cannot change? Or why do people believe change is hard? The truth is, change is possible! And change doesn?t have to be terribly hard!
One of the key ingredients in Life Coaching (in order to help people make the lasting changes they must make in order to become all they were created to be) is this? Change without significant emotion is temporary at best. We can sit and discuss how an addiction is harmful, and have good intentions, yet find ourselves smoking weed, popping pills, or ordering another round of Jose Cuervo in a matter of hours.
Why? Because there is no significant emotion (and by the way, emotion creates energy and motion internally) and without that emotion, the moment of inspiration and good planning becomes just that … ?a moment.?
In my office, there is an ongoing process of creating emotional experiences that anchor new decisions deep within the hearts of those who so desperately want the change, but have failed again and again with good intentions.
For example, I was working with a wonderful 72-year-old woman a few years ago. Although she was in perfect health, and had incredible amounts of energy, she had somehow succumbed to the message that she was ?old?. She found herself noticing aches and pains, wanting to stop the amazing volunteer work she had been doing! And in essence, she thought that the rest of her life would be spent in the rocking chair of regret of getting ?old?.
I asked her who on earth told her that she was old? (Because, by the way, we will all give up our dreams, our goals, and even our values, to remain consistent with what ever identity we have adopted for ourselves.)
She began to explain the process of deciding she was ?old?. Even she began to laugh as she described the process.
I told her that chronological age was just a number, but our real age is the age we decide we are. After a time of processing, she determined that she could still live and feel like a schoolgirl while contributing to her volunteer work with great wisdom.
It was ?a moment.? A good planning session. But certainly not enough to create the emotion which would create the motion and energy to turn it around.
Let me jump to the end of the session, where she was jumping rope in the rain on the back deck of my office while reciting a little rhyme that she used to jump rope to as a little girl. We jumped until she was worn out. And until we were both laughing hysterically with tears rolling down our faces. Both looking like perfectly drowned rats!
Two weeks ago, I ran into her adult daughter and son-in-law who had referred her to me. They both laughed and said, ?We don?t know what you did to our mom, or what pills you put her on? But we?ll have what she?s having! She is not just spunky again … she is spunky squared! We have our mom back!?
My question to you today is this? What do you desire to change? What changes need to occur for you to become the amazing person you were created to be, fulfilling your purpose on a daily basis? Yes! I?m talking to you!
Be very specific about what you want to change, and create a powerful emotional experience that will ensure your lasting and permanent change. (And I can assure you this, your emotional experience will not be found inside your comfort zone.)
I wish you lasting permanent change so that your life is joyful every single day!
As for me, 19 months later I am still kickin? it and crushin? it! How? Why? When I am in pain, and in Physical Torture regularly?
Because I did not allow what occurred to me 19 months ago to define me or become my identity. Instead, I determined that I would use it as a launching pad to help others facing difficult situations or trauma in their life to grasp hope, to hold on with all their might, and to step up! And yes! I created an emotional situation to anchor that deep within me. What did I do?
Well, I love to dance. I was competing at dancing and doing fairly well before my accident. But I decided I could do the impossible. My dance partner went with me to physical therapy to learn what I could and could not do. We began to learn moves backwards, using my left arm instead of my right arm to spin me. Once we had enough moves I could do mastered? I gave myself a party!
I invited my Freedom Seniors, friends, family, Physical Therapists, doctors, nurses and many others to a ?she?s back on the dance floor party?. I?ll never forget that night, and I will never abandon my mission of helping others make the changes that they need to make in order to become all they were created to be, overcoming challenges and set backs, living joyfully and purposefully daily!
What about you? What horrible experience have you gone through? What have you lost? What have your disappointments been? Join me in determining to turn it to good to help others? And we will create a joyful and purposeful living revolution together! Come on! Get up and make your decision and create a powerful emotional experience and join the revolution! You can do it! You are a powerful and contagious agent of change. Others around you need you right now!
As for me, I am moving along at breakneck speed, to the finish line of my last surgery in August. Then I have been assured that I will have another 500,000 miles left on me. I?m doing my very best to make sure that every Debbie downer, negative Nelly, doubting Thomas and every demon in hell all say, ?Oh my gosh! She?s back again!?