“Dr. Neecie, I hope you remember me. I am the older Japanese woman that you refused to give up on in the Power of Purpose in Aomori, Japan. I will never forget that you stopped the entire program to help me find my breakthrough!”
How could I possibly forget her? I teared up as I read through her email, trying to make sense of the translation that I put through the translator for ‘Japanese to English’.
I remember before I went to Japan, I was advised of pieces of the program I would need to change, because they simply would not work in that culture.
I thought and thought and tried to find replacements for those parts of the program. But absolutely nothing seemed to come to me or seemed like it might work into the flow of the program.
I remember on the 14-hour flight thinking through various scenarios that might work, and not lose the power punch of the program.
I knew I needed to sleep, but more importantly, I knew that I simply had to make the program effective for my Japanese friends.
The next day, on the train from Tokyo to Amari, I finally decided to leave the program as it was, and to speak with my translator when I arrived about making sure that they understood the purpose of each component with her translation.
The first exercise that I had been challenged to reinvent was going well. All over the room … people were experiencing dramatic breakthroughs.
But I simply could not ignore the group that was surrounding a woman in a chair, sobbing.
If you know me at all, you know that I’m a big believer in … “No one gets left behind!”
As I approached the group, they all waved me over and welcomed me, and had noticeable relief. As a young man began to explain to my translator and she interpreted for me… He said, “She believes she’s too old … And it’s simply too late!”
Because I was working through a translator the program would already require double the amount of time I was accustomed to having. It was a dilemma. But I knew the right thing to do.
Hearing the story from her perspective was an amazing benefit and blessing I never expected. But that I am so very grateful for.
Just in case you may think you’re too old (or too young) or anything else that would keep you from finding and living your purpose … I’m sharing her story with you this week.
(Even the translation app left me with some uncertainty of some her words and phrases, but I am presenting it with as much accuracy as possible! And I am delighted to have the opportunity to do so!)
There’s the ‘same’ yearning in all people of all cultures to freely live beyond the wall that keeps them from what they long to reach for. That’s purpose calling. But we must do first things first.
To live on the other side of that wall requires all of us to dig through our life-story and find our true selves … Then strip away everything that keep us from aligning head with heart, heart with head.
1. What was your trauma?
“Trauma is not a word that we use much here in Japan. Therefore, I’m not 100% sure that I experienced any.”
“I grew up in a family with three brothers, and they are all very successful men. My father did everything, sparing nothing, to make sure that they were very successful.”
“I guess I was what you would call the black sheep of our family. Not because I got in trouble or anything like that. I think it was just because I was a female.”
“Not certain that anyone ever told me this, but I knew that my job was just to watch my mother, and to help her as much as possible. And our jobs were to serve my father and my brothers.
“Maybe the reason I thought it I was excluded because I was a girl was something I heard my mother tell my aunt. They were preparing dinner, and my mother told my aunt that my father stopped loving her when I was born.”
“My brothers got special sports coaching, musical training with masters, and tailored academic opportunities. I knew none of that was available to me.”
“Although my marks (grades) were nearly perfect, I knew that a university career was not a consideration for me.”
“Thankfully, before I graduated, a young man gave me the second button from his uniform. I think it’s very similar to what you and America would call ‘getting promised’.”
“I was at least relieved that I knew that I would get married and have someone to serve. That’s what I had been trained to do.”
“Because no one interacted with me in the home, I would go to the conservatory every day and play the piano. One of my brothers was a classically trained pianist, so I would just try to repeat what I had heard him play.”
“I think you would say that I was a lonely girl. But somehow when I would sit at the piano and try to replicate what I had heard, something came alive in me. At least for that moment.”
“The rest of the time, I just felt like there was no need for me to be alive.”
“I was awkward. I was shy. I was socially inept. And I was a girl. I often wished I had been a boy. Because they had plenty of opportunity, they were acknowledged and celebrated, and their success was important.”
“I felt important for a moment when I got married. And I was quite relieved when I had two sons. I don’t know what I would have done with daughters. But I do know that I would have done everything possible to make them feel worthwhile. Because I never did.”
“I lost my husband when they were quite young, but I did my best to give them every opportunity to be successful. Like my father did for my brothers.”
“When I got them through their education, I decided to try my luck. I knew I was too old to be at the university with young people, so I showed up for classes and went my own way.”
“I guess you could say I was a lonely little girl when I was young, and then at the university I was a lonely ‘old girl’.”
“When I came to the Power of Purpose years after that, I planned to just stay to myself and be a lonely ‘VERY OLD girl’!”
“You imagine how surprised and horror I was when I found out I was going to be in a small group! I believe I am correct in stating you just refused to let me be lonely from the moment I walked in!”
Someone has said, “Find out what makes you come alive and go do it.” That’s a great truth and I agree.
But if you’re buried beneath the sound of a loop playing intermittently inside of you from dawn till dusk, it’s hard to put together strings of moments of resolve, to believe that you can really put together strings of moments of resolve.
But hope is what? Hope begins when we KNOW WHAT to work on … that’s the door to everyone’s hope! And behind that door is your path to purpose!
From our deepest moments of pain, resurrect our clearest vision of our purpose.
2. What is your purpose?
“I began taking nutritional products from the company that you were doing the Power of Purpose for. In the product box there was a flyer. They had made an offer for the first 10 to register to get in free. I had never previously won anything, so I decided this was my first time to win something!”
“I arrived nice and early so I could secure my place in a back corner of the room. The doors weren’t open yet, but I peaked in. I heard music, and I saw a few of you doing what I learned later you Americans called a ‘line dance’.”
“I had no idea what you were doing, but I really liked the sound of the music and the rhythm. I didn’t know until later that it was a country song called: “God Blessed Texas’!”
“We all watched the TV series ‘Dallas’ … so I was excited to know you came from there!”
“The dancing and laughter I saw did make me smile. Therefore, I had to stay around to see what this Power of Purpose was all about.”
“When you put us in a ‘no words zone’ and had us selecting groups, I was scared to death that I wouldn’t be chosen.”
“Thankfully, a group of five came together and started frantically searching for a single person. They grabbed me and pulled me in. It gave me confidence to think it might all go alright.”
“Purpose was an interesting concept to hear about. Looking back over my life, I had to assume that my purpose was to serve my father and my brothers, then my husband and my sons. But they were all gone and on their own now, so clearly there was no more purpose for me.”
“When you got us focused on the workbook for the first ‘purpose’ writing exercise, I was feeling anxious. But that music you played. It captivated me. I wanted to sit at a piano and reproduce it.”
“Maybe that’s what inspired me to begin answering the questions. It made me think about things I’d never thought about before, and the music made it easy.”
“Then when it came to the second purpose exercise, I was overcome with anxiousness again. But when you gave the instructions of where to transfer earlier answers, I thought it would be complicated.”
“You turned on more music. Different than the first, yet something I wanted to reproduce. Again. At a piano. It’s like you designed the music that would speak to my soul within.”
“It was right after that that you had us identify the thought or belief that kept us tied up like an animal. Unable to be free.”
“I knew immediately what mine was … but I knew it was too late to be unchained. It was simply this: ‘I am too old, and it is too late’!”
“There was no way I could do the exercise. I cheered for others and hoped they would leave me alone. “
“But when I saw you cast your gaze our way, I just smiled, hoping you would continue scanning the room. I suppose the tears I had tried to hide gave away my hope that you would think I was fine. I dropped my face into my hands and began to try to drown out the sobs and hide the tears.”
“When you motioned the translator to come with you, I was terrified. When you knelt beside me, and the entire room came closer. I wanted to melt into your care and run away. All at the same time.”
“I’m not sure if it was when I heard the translator’s words, or when I saw the warm smile and the twinkle in your eyes that everything inside me changed.”
“I know that I thought I mattered. If I had left with just that, it would have changed my life. But I had no idea what was getting ready to happen. As the entire room cheered me on, and you helped me prepare for my ‘break free’ moment, something broke up in me. I broke. I broke free from something that had been a shadow over me my entire life.”
“A whole room full of people around me? I had never had that much attention and certainly not that much support and care.”
“I have never let anyone hug me in my life other than my husband, a couple of family members, and my sons when they were young.”
“But when you held your three fingers up, I knew what it meant! … I showed you mine and melted into your hug.”
“By the way, that was the piece I had been advised to remove, because ‘hugging’ is not a ‘thing’ … particularly in a rural area. But it was a ‘thing’ at that moment for my Japanese friend and me!”
“If that moment had not happened, I don’t believe my purpose would have ever flowed out of me.”
“When you sent us back to our chairs to write the letter, the music got me again. The third song that I wanted to replicate at the piano.”
“The words flowed out: My purpose is to use music to help people soothe their souls.”
“Perhaps because music soothed me in the conservatory growing up. Perhaps because that music you played soothed an old weary soul.”
“What would I say to your audience? I would say:
‘You are NOT too old to find your purpose, and you are NEVER too old to help people bring peace into their lives’.”
If we look and listen like Aomori did, with the windows of our soul opened wide, our life will speak to us in a way we never thought it would. Because nothing is by mistake when we our surrendered desire is to heal and find purpose.
3. What difference, has finding your purpose made in your life?
“Well, if I had to summarize, I would say that finding my purpose helped an old, weary woman find a life … for the first time.”
“I had earned a degree and certification to teach and had been teaching children for quite some time.”
“But now I didn’t want to arithmetic, grammar, and spelling. I wanted to teach music. But not just music. I wanted to teach lonely little girls and boys how to find peace with music.”
“I earned my master’s degree in classical music. By then I was REALLY of, but not TOO old!”
“I taught kids music and how to use it to soothe themselves and others. That went well for several years and soon I had parents wanting to do the same thing.”
“I have left teaching in the school system and do private tutoring and mentoring for students. First by helping them soothe themselves and find peace with music.”
“Now I also help young entrepreneurs find great success in their business. By first finding peace using music, and then excelling in business.”
“If you do the math, you know I’m really old now. But I’m not too old. Not too old to teach others to find peace with the gift of music. Not too old to go for walks on the coast. Not too old to be a small ray of light into people’s dark worlds.”
“Not too old to live … and find peace in making a difference. “
***
Limiting beliefs. We all have them.
Toxic beliefs. We all have them.
Disempowering beliefs. We all have them.
But the great news is … we don’t have to keep them!
It took a weekend through the Power of Purpose to help my dear Japanese friend overcome all of those.
One of the keys to overcoming toxic, negative, disempowering beliefs is to find your purpose.
Nina Cooke, Business mindset Coach says:
“Taking time to unpack our limiting beliefs can free us up to live fuller, more fulfilling lives, full of confidence and purpose. Once you find your real purpose and knock your limiting beliefs on the head you can achieve more than you ever believed possible.”
This was certainly true for my Japanese friend.
That’s why I shared her story this week.
My heart desire is that it’s true for you too!
Identify your limiting beliefs.
Kick them to the curb.
Finding your purpose will help you do all of that!
Not to mention living in peace!
“Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching for those things before me, I press toward the mark of my calling.”
Paul the Apostle
For more info on Power of Purpose, click here: https://bit.ly/PowerOfMyPurpose
