“What’s happened to me? When I was kid, I could just put a towel around my neck, and I truly believed I could fly.”
I laughed as he shared the story about jumping out of a tree, but the towel that he had tied around his neck got caught on a branch and almost hung him.
“But after I got untangled, I just got up there and tried it again!”
What happened to all of that now? I don’t believe I can do anything!”
I totally understood what he was facing.
I call them limiting beliefs.
But sometimes those beliefs are more than just limiting … sometimes they’re paralyzing.
Perhaps the saddest thing I see is when people with similar stories believe that they’re STUCK where they are.
That there’re no other options.
And that this is just their life.
Not true my friend!
It is so awesome to witness the wonder of a child. To watch their childlike faith make them believe that they could conquer their little world!
We are all born that way to some extent.
Then life happens.
Somebody else takes up their brush. Using similar strokes that their blank canvas was painted with … that made them … them. And they began painting on our blank canvas which made us … us.
As sick and as good as it was … most did their best with what was given to them.
Yep … some of us got their …
- Pain.
- Shame.
- Trauma.
Making lofty hopes and powerful beliefs begin to take a plunge.
I’m launching this series because I believe that these unconscious beliefs direct our lives, and our futures.
And we do NOT have to be victim to them.
We can transform them to restore the wonder, that powerful bliss, and the desire to conquer our world.
I’m starting this week with one man’s story to help you become aware of any limiting belief that might be holding you back.
My desire is to see you breakout of any limiting beliefs. And to soar!
Let’s look at limiting beliefs.
1. Limiting beliefs remain under the radar but direct our lives!
“I guess it’s just Murphy’s Law. That’s why so much goes wrong in my life. Everything from dripping bleach on my new jeans to forgetting important conference calls.”
I had to laugh, because I always know when I hear the “Murphy’s Law statement” that there are powerful limiting beliefs at work.
That someone is trying to blame some undeclared psychobabble “law” that says “anything that can go wrong … will go wrong.”
That’s a setup for limiting, paralyzing beliefs … and expectations!
Reflect on this recent Olympic Games.
That’s NOT a mindset of those kids going for gold.
The same goes for doing life.
- What you expect will happen.
- And what you believe for (good, bad or ugly) will unfold.
I personally choose the GOOD in B. And do my best to transform GOOD to AWESOME. To EXTRAORDINARY!
I asked my client, “What if all of those things that seem to go wrong were based on some kind of toxic malware running through your veins?”
After looking at me like I was from another planet, he snickered and responded, “I’d get a pill to fix it!”
I had to laugh with him as he continued: “Where do I get the pills?”
I explained to him that although the “fix” was not a “pill” … that it was something inside of him … that he COULD address.
And it was for sure not some victim driven ‘law’ that’s ‘out there’ after him.
He asked me, with a slight demanding tone: “How can you be so sure that it is something inside of me?”
You may be wondering the same thing.
Because there is a captain at the wheel of our ship (our lives) and most of us do not even know the captain.
The captain is the thoughts we have and the beliefs we hold that steer our lives in positive directions, negative directions, or sometimes just leave us drifting.
The ground is level here. All of us have a same cross to bear; the one someone else built for us.
“So I suppose you’re going to introduce me to my captain,” He asked in jest?
Once again, I had to chuckle as I said to him, “Actually I’d like to help you introduce me to the captain.”
With true curiosity, he continued, “And how do I know if it’s a good captain, a bad captain, or a captain that’s asleep at the wheel?”
What a great question!
And you may have the same question about your own life.
I warned him that the answer might not appear to be profound to him, but it was straightforward and simple!
“The answer is evidenced by …
- The quality (or lack thereof) of your life …
- The fulfillment (or lack thereof) in your life …
- Your satisfaction (or lack thereof) with your life.”
He was calm now and I could see him reflecting.
“And perhaps most importantly, by how purposeful your life is.”
“Oops!” he gasped. “My captain needs to be fired!”
If your life seems to be reminiscent of Murphy’s law …
If your life is not what you had hoped it would be …
If your life is not meaningful and filled with purpose …
Perhaps your captain (your limiting beliefs) needs to be summoned and fired.
We will get to that in weeks to come.
But you may say: “But I’m a realist!”
Let’s get real then.
How much of this “realist” belief has to do with your pride?
Just having to contemplate for an answer is evidence of negativity and limiting thoughts/beliefs.
YES! Let’s get real together.
2. Limiting beliefs do not just disappear. Left to themselves, they become more deeply embedded.
“So, are you telling me that trying to think positive is not going to do the trick?”
I loved the tenacious curiosity of my client!
I responded: “Thinking positively is a great thing, but in regard to removing limiting beliefs, it’s not effective.”
Now his curiosity became stoic.
“It’s like if you just grabbed a weed and broke the top part off, it looks good for a few minutes, but within a day or two, it’ll be right there again growing from the hearty roots that are still intact!”
He shook his head in affirmation as I continued.
“Not only that, but when we continue going through life, letting our limiting beliefs be the driver, or the captain of our ship of life … it reinforces them and drives them deeper.”
I shared with him an example I’d like to share with you.
Yesterday, the golf course that I office on was closed … so I went out for a brief walk on the course. I went up the steps in the backyard where I have a bed of white rocks between the top of the stairs and the gate to the golf course.
A new batch of monkey grass was peeking through the white rocks.
I knew that unless I went beneath the surface and got them by the roots, they would just be back next week.
Of course, I could not get my freshly done nails full of dirt, so I went back down, put on a glove, scooted some of the rocks apart and dug beneath the surface to pull up the root.
Did it take an extra few minutes? Yes.
But I made sure I got the root, so that little batch of monkey grass will not return.
It’s first KNOWING what needs to be uprooted. Right? Then talking action.
Ask any gold medal winner about tweaking their efforts. They’ve all made them to become the best!
Is the direction of your life worth taking a few extra minutes to scoot aside some rocks, dig beneath the surface, and pull any limiting thoughts or paralyzing beliefs out by the root?
I believe your life is worth that … and so much more. Ask yourself, or better yet ask others or someone like me … “What is causing me (no pun intended) to think this way?”
Simplify and intensify.
When I asked my client if he was willing to do the work and stop making the roots stronger … He said, “I’m willing to grab roots, detonate bombs, or do whatever else it will take. This is not how I thought my life would be.”
He stared at the floor as he groped for this next response.
“I mean, my life is good. But I’m tired of good. That’s not enough!”
I hope you’ll take the same position … whether your life is horrid, OK, good, or even great. I hope you’ll follow the series and determine to make your life the best that it can be.
I hope you will be committed to a life that’s:
- Abundant.
- Fulfilling.
- Rich in relationships.
- Bountiful in health.
- Bubbling with energy.
- Meaningful.
- And filled with purpose!
Changing is not straining but a commitment to becoming and doing something daily to move towards it. Two millimeter changes is all it takes!
3. Limiting beliefs can be harnessed and transformed in a heart beat!
“But what if my beliefs are so deep that they are encapsulated by concrete,” my client asked?
With a smirk, I reminded him that he said he was willing to do whatever it took. Including detonation.
“I’m quite certain that no matter how deeply they are embedded that detonation will take care of them!”
When I suggest to my clients that they are not stuck with where they are, I often hear things like:
- It’s too late.
- I’m too old.
- It’s a habit I can’t break.
- You can’t take spots off of a cow.
- Old dogs don’t learn new tricks.
- It’s just who I am.
- All my family was/is like this.
Welcome to the battle of the “too”s …
It’s never too late, you’re never too old or too young, we can break any habit that we choose to break.
You’re not a cow so we don’t have to worry about your spots.
You’re not a dog so we don’t have to worry about your tricks.
Having the desire for change is 50% of becoming the change!
You can transform who you are in a heartbeat, and just because your family has traits … does not mean you have to include them in your repertoire.
The call of our individuality and our gifts is what brings all of us to the point of change.
Everyone’s uniqueness never lets up … it’s the way we were programmed.
I hope you’ll stretch for just enough faith, the size of a few grains of sand.
That’s all it takes to ensure that this is possible for you.
That’s all we need to get you started on a transformational journey of not only removing limiting beliefs … But of replacing them with powerful, transforming beliefs.
Beliefs that will guide the ship of your life to all you were created to be.
And I can assure you that it’s an amazing place!
*****
We all have limiting beliefs.
Regardless of where they came from, they can be transformed.
But it’s not something that occurs by wishing or hoping they were different.
You must be willing to roll your sleeves up …
To take action …
To do some things that might possibly be tough.
Like firing the captain of your life.
And hiring one committed to your amazing future!
Let’s do some things outside of your comfort zone.
Like spend some time, energy, and effort fighting for the life that you deserve.
I’d love to guide you in this process over the next several weeks.
I hope you’ll join me in creating a fulfilling life, filled with:
- Purpose
- Excellent health and energy
- Prosperity
- Rich relationships!
(From my friend in AA …
“24 hours. That’s what and how we in AA learn to live. Many things drove us to drink excessively. What tops them all was our inability to live and be happy in the present without medicating with booze.
Our past shames and future imagined strains …
Always take us to overwhelm mode. So 24 more keeps us sober, evolving, and focused on only changing the present.
Changing those thoughts and beliefs that keep us turning to the bottle …
And creating a life of serenity!”)
