“I was country… when country wasn’t cool!”
That’s always been one of my favorite songs!
I sing it often when I’m in my car or out for a walk.
I love to sing these words:
“They call us country bumpkins
For stickin’ to our roots
I’m just glad we’re in a country
Where we’re all free to choose
I was country, when country wasn’t cool
Yeah, I was country, from my hat down to, whoa my boots
I still act, and look the same
What you see ain’t nothin’ new
I was country, when country wasn’t cool!”
I guess the theme of staying ahead of my time has always been with me.
Because I was doing trauma healing work, when we were not using the word “trauma” for anyone other than our veterans.
(Let me pause long enough to say that our vets were truly traumatized. And if you, or someone in your family has served, I want to take a moment to thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I do not take my freedom lightly, And I’m more than aware that without you, I would not be free!)
To be honest, my passion for trauma healing began when I realized there was “something wrong” with me.
I just wanted to be “normal” … whatever that is.
I wanted (with a sense of choice) to laugh, to live, to love, to be foot loose and fancy free.
The truth is, inside…I was not.
I have no doubt that my pursuit of getting accepted to and enrolled in graduate school came from that deep desire.
Although I got lots of ‘good learning’ and great information there…I was no more equipped to deal with trauma than I’d been before graduate school.
Long story, short, I studied with Masters in the field (like Dr. John Bradshaw, Pia Mellody, Dr. Harville Hendrix, Dr. Maya Angelou) to figure out what I needed to heal.
And then to put together a treatment program that would bring healing to the those who’d experienced trauma.
For years, I’ve been training people from all walks of life to deal with trauma. But I’ve noted this one thing: those who’ve experienced trauma, and win their healing work, make the VERY BEST Trauma Coaches.
Those who hurt deeply, heal deeply, and those who heal deeply empathize and recognize the signs of trauma.
This week I’m sharing why I believe those who have experienced and healed from trauma make the VERY BEST Trauma Coaches.
1. They have a special kind of empathy and compassion to offer.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m NOT saying that Coaches, pastors, teachers, counselors, etc. do not have any empathy or compassion.
I hope they all do.
But when you’ve experienced trauma, untangled life, and healed from it, there’s a unique empathy and compassion (sad to say) that you cannot obtain any other way.
If you haven’t experienced trauma … it’s just hard to understand how deeply disempowering the messages are and become planted on your hard drive and your heart drive.
If you haven’t experienced it … there’s just no way to understand how your heart drive has been affected, regarding trust, attachment, connection, or intimacy.
If you haven’t experienced it … you just don’t “know” those ruminations that confuse and distort your expressive life, while running 24-7 under the radar of your conscious state.
If you haven’t experienced trauma … there’s no way to grasp that we live completely unaware until our lives hit the wall from choices made, that were directly influenced by our past trauma, and we finally see why and what needs to be healed in us.
If you haven’t experienced it … it’s challenging to understand that parts of you/us are frozen back in time. Parts of you (yes) were left behind.
If you haven’t experienced it … it’s difficult to understand how hard life is for us daily, even though we may function well and wear a smile.
If you haven’t experienced trauma … it’s almost impossible to relate to the crushing weight that’s on our chests.
If you haven’t experienced it … it is impossible to relate to the overthinking and fog in our brains. And the whirling and swirling of anxiety, worry,
pain, and shame in our hearts.
I don’t wish that on anyone.
Meaning I don’t wish that everyone who works with trauma had experienced trauma.
But I do maintain that those who’ve experienced trauma, who’ve at least gotten started with their healing … make the very best Life/Trauma Coaches.
With some training, and a bit of practice and direction, they’re extraordinary at leading others to healing.
2. They’re willing to roll up their sleeves and do the hard work with clients.
Many modes of counseling and coaching simply encourage those with trauma to talk through it and decide on some behavior changes.
Certainly, that’s a part of trauma healing.
However, my many years of experience lineup with the research that indicates that doing the experiential work accelerates the progress … like on steroids.
I will also confess to this … it’s much more mentally and emotionally draining to do the experiential work.
However, I think people who have healed from trauma want so badly to help others transform from surviving to thriving … that they seem to have an extra boost of the mental and emotional energy it takes to do that kind of work.
And perhaps their own experience of being catapulted from surviving to thriving is what gives them the willingness to roll up their sleeves and do the hard work.
The best way of serving is using our own life struggles and healings as a testament to the power of surrender and vulnerability. All of us know that these two virtues begin the pursuit of and to ALL successes.
Surrender clears the mind…vulnerability opens the heart!
And that state of willingness is what makes the very best Trauma Coaches!
3. They have the unique ability to go the extra mile with their clients.
Working with people who’ve experienced trauma is quite often a long and winding road.
Whether they’re high functioning or barely functioning…the fallout of trauma is complex.
There are not simple, easy answers outside of a miracle (which I always pray for and believe for each of my clients).
That journey with clients is often filled with resistance, self-sabotage, and/or wanting to give up.
As people who’ve experienced trauma, we’ve likely been down all of those roads more than once.
And we live with regret that we did not cross the finish line sooner.
Perhaps that’s what motivates us the most to roll up our sleeves and go the extra mile.
I love what Og Mandino writes about this:
“Go another mile!
The only certain means of success is to render more and better service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may be. This is a habit followed by all successful people since the beginning of time.
Therefore, I saith the surest way to doom yourself to mediocrity is to perform only the work for which you are paid.
Think not ye are being cheated if you deliver more than the silver you receive. For there is a pendulum to all life and the sweat you deliver, if not rewarded today, will swing back tomorrow, tenfold.
The mediocre never goes another mile, for why should he cheat himself, he thinks. But you are not mediocre. To go another mile is a privilege you must appropriate by your own initiative.
You can no more render service without receiving just compensation than you can withhold the rendering of it without suffering the loss of reward. Cause and effect, means and ends, seed and fruit, these cannot be separated.
Go another mile.”
That is the kind of extra mile I see Coaches who’ve experienced trauma extend to those they’re working with who’ve been traumatized.
It’s a special gift. Perhaps we earned the gift in our journey of healing from trauma!
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If you are one of those people who has suffered from trauma, done some healing work, and now desire to help others … I’d love to have you join my next cohort of “Trauma Healing & Certification” program to begin your journey of helping others.
So many people come through my program for many reasons.
And I welcome them all.
Perhaps you will see yourself in one of these groups.
People who just want more in-depth healing for their trauma.
People who’re teachers and want to become more trauma-informed to help their students (and their families).
People in ministry who want to have the skills to do more than just pray for people who have experienced trauma. (We all know prayer is effective, but often there’s intimate/deep healing work to do!)
People who are Life Coaches and want to add the trauma healing piece to the services they offer.
People who have experienced trauma, done some healing, and would like to begin a practice as a Trauma Coach.
If you see yourself needing and/or desiring any of the above, I’d welcome you to check out and register for my program:
Why am I so passionate about this?
- Because research says that over 90% of us will experience some type of trauma in our lifetime. There are 100s of thousands of traumatized people needing and desiring help and healing.
- Because there are so many people needing help … and a paucity of those trained well to lead them to healing.
- Because no one with trauma deserves to be left behind!
I can only serve so many in my practice, and I want to be a part of growing a community of well-trained Coaches to help meet the need!
Does that ring true to your heart or resonate in you?
If so, I’d love to see you in my next training cohort.
Because TOGETHER … we can make a difference!
LET’S DO THIS!!
