“I had no idea that my faith, about expecting the worst, was actually creating the worst,” my client said with exasperation!
I waited.
Moanfully she said, “That moment in your webinar was a game changer for me. I always believed that if I expected the worst, that anything better than that would be great. Little did I know, what I expected, moment by moment, was an open invitation, to what I was living.”
Although she’d been to many of my workshops, this was the first time she had made an appointment.
In a webinar earlier in the year, I was talking about belief systems. How our brains will do our best to create for us what we believe.
Our brains believe what we believe and eventually morph into that belief.
Our Reticular Activating System (RAS) or our own personalized Google search engine.
What we think will happen, what we believe will happen, tells our RAS…our Google search to find the quickest route to THAT belief software!
And the greater the faith we have in the thought, belief, or expectations of that mindset, the greater the efforts of the RAS.
Our grey matter search on steroids! And if we’re hardwired that way it’s a 24-7 function…with the cortisol to match!
In the webinar, I had compared our beliefs and expectations to faith and shared about the ancient proverb that says…
“According to your faith be it unto you.”
I had shared how growing up, I had believed that if I had little faith, I would get little things. But if I had great faith, I would get great things.
And all of that is true. I knew it was true because I had been exposed to faith from early on in my life.
I had learned a lot about faith during the summer times that I spent with my Mamaw in Arkansas. She talked about faith all the time.
When we were working in the garden, she’d tell how we planted the strawberry seeds in faith. We knew that the seeds would die, but we still planted. And we still expected them to produce delicious strawberries.
“Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe.” Saint Augustine
So, faith has always been a part of my life.
A lot of people think that faith only has to do with God and/or religion. Although it certainly applies there.
It’s not limited to that.
It applies to everything in our lives.
“In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don’t.” Blaise Pascal
My client came, not for a religious lesson, but for an understanding of how faith works. And how to turn around her expectation for the worst, which was really faith for the worst. And faith for better… is why she came.
I shared these 3 things with her that seemed to be extremely helpful. So, I wanted to share them with you.
Regardless of where your life, your marriage, your career, your finances, or any other area of your life is right now…your faith will direct it forward, keep it stagnant, or direct it backwards.
My hope is that your faith will direct you forward! Let’s embrace faith in a way that can propel us to the things we desire, and to becoming all that we were created to be.
1. What is Faith?
“Faith is a state of openness or trust.” Alan Watts
Here are some definitions of faith:
- The evidence of things not yet seen.
- Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
- Something believed with strong conviction.
- Believing something firmly, although there is no evidence or proof.
- An unshakable persuasion.
“I am just astounded that here I am in the middle of my fourth decade of being alive, and I still assume, that faith was/is a religious thing,” my client said in her a-ha moment.
She paused.
“Yes, faith is simply part of our belief systems. We believe it so sincerely, that we expect it to happen. Certainly, that’s not limited to religion,” I responded.
“I guess I just never understood that faith was important outside of religion,” she stated and continued.
“I guess I just thought it wasn’t important, and now I’ve figured out, that I’ve let it run my life…and not in a direction I really wanted to go!”
I love what Dr. Arthur Dobrin says about faith.
“Faith speaks the language of the heart. It’s an expression of hope that goes beyond our mind. It’s the water that quenches parched souls.”
Research has shown faith to be a great companion in our lives. The research reveals that:
- Faith helps us find creative solutions.
- It helps us find purpose in our lives.
- It gives us something to focus on that is productive.
- It strengthens us.
- It helps our brain tap into positive thinking.
- It provides hope when we face challenges.
- It gives us a sense of peace.
- It creates joy and eradicates depression.
Then my client asked with a bit of disappointment, “So, you’re basically telling me that I’m missing out on a lot?”
“Let’s just say that perhaps you’ve missed out on a lot. But, it’s not too late!”
And it’s not too late for you either, my friend!
“Sometimes the worst conditions can often provide the best atmosphere to act in faith. God doesn’t want our confidence regulated by our audience. If faith-discouragers can shake our confidence badly enough to disable us, our confidence may be in ourselves instead of God.”
Beth Moore
You can embrace faith in a manner that is highly profitable for you, your life, your family, your future, your finances, your business, and/or career.
“Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light.” Helen Keller
2. According to your faith, your brain will deliver.
My great understanding about the proverb: “According to your faith, let it be done” came to me on a very critical day in graduate school.
I had just learned that Dr. Patricia Love, my mentor, and major advisor of many years, was leaving the University for a new venture.
I was so excited for her and knew our relationship would continue. (And so it has for many years)
I had stopped by the office of my new advisor and found out that my dissertation committee was now headed by a professor that everyone dreaded.
I walked into the graduate school study area, and a beloved friend said to me, “You look like you just heard the worst news ever! “
Tearfully, with an eye roll, I said, “I’ll probably never graduate, because they just assigned me to the worst professor to have for a dissertation chair!”
He knew exactly who I was referring to!
He nodded with understanding, and then reached out and took my hand and said, “But don’t you want to say that differently? Because according to your faith, let it be done…”
Because I was still hung up in my old beliefs about faith, I assumed I just didn’t have enough faith.
So, I said to him, “I think my faith is low at the moment, can I borrow some of yours?”
He chuckled, and said, “You’ve got to be kidding me! You don’t need to borrow my faith! You have plenty of faith. It’s just not going to move you in the direction that you really want. Your faith is that this is the worst thing ever!”
“Any faith that must be supported by the evidence of the senses is not real faith.”
A.W. Tozer
It took me a moment to take it in.
As I was sharing this, my client jumped in:
“So, it wasn’t just that you didn’t have enough faith. You had plenty of faith. But the faith was for the worst…just like me?”
“Exactly!”
That moment has been with me ever since. I finally realized that there were only 3 categories for faith in our lives. And each of the 3 have a continuum:
- No faith at all. (To which our brains don’t respond…it goes AWOL on us)
- A little faith to great faith for great things. (To which our brains respond with great effort to move things in our lives in that direction. Finding creative strategies and helping us make note of things we might otherwise miss)
- A little faith to great faith for the worst or awful things. (To which our brains respond with great effort to move things in our lives in that awful direction. Finding every challenge and negative thought possible to bring the worst into being. Even inspiring us to self-sabotage at times).
Suddenly when my friend spoke those words to me, I got it.
Whatever I believe with confidence and whatever I expect with conviction… is the direction my life will go because of that faith…as my brain strain towards that conclusion takes control!
If I have faith for great things, I will see great things.
If I have faith for awful things, I will see awful things.
My first few meetings with my new dissertation chair did not go well.
But I told myself that she’d “get it” (and would understand the uniqueness of my project and want to stamp it with approval) and this would turn around.
I held onto that with faith.
I ran into the same friend a couple of weeks later, and I had just come from a meeting where she had ripped my entire dissertation to pieces.
I told him I was still believing that somehow it would turn around.
He assured me that it would. Then he invited me to come to dinner at his home with he and his wife, who were both in the graduate program with me.
Not only did they encourage my faith, but because of that dinner, they worked with me through the night.
I only had a few days to retype the 200+ pages (Only rich people had computers, and you had to know programming).
With only a few hours of sleep, I went into my first dissertation defense 72 hours later. (Which is normally a multiple hour rapid fire question shoot out where the committee tries to poke holes in your research)
But I was ready! I had strong faith (even though my knees were shaking) and I expected an amazing outcome.
“Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation, for the future only He can see.”
Corrie Ten Boom
Little did I know how amazing the outcome would be.
I delivered my dissertation orally.
They all sat silently.
Finally, the other professor that I thought might not be that supportive, stood up and said, “Well done!” Then he walked out of the room.
At that point the other 4 of them rose and congratulated me. Done in the first round of the defense, with not one hole shot in my project!
According to your faith, let it be done!
Which direction is your faith headed?
About you?
About your life?
About your marriage?
About your family?
About your business?
About your finances?
Which direction is your faith taking you?
“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture. I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. In that way lays defeat and death.” Nelson Mandela
Let’s turn your faith to expecting great things!
3. Build your faith.
“Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.” Voltaire
“I have no idea how to build my faith, all I know is that I am ready!”
my client stated with great confidence.
It was clear to me that she wanted help in building her faith.
It happened to be perfect timing, because recently, some physical challenges that resulted in some great losses in my life, required me to step up and rebuild some faith.
I shared with her some of the things that I did:
- I reminded myself of all the great things that have occurred in my life because I have practiced faith. Write them down!
- I set aside some time to read some things that are always uplifting to my faith. One of my favorites is the God Memo by Og Mandino. I read it again, and again. One of my favorite parts of that:
“We have a world to rebuild…and if it requires a miracle what is that to us? We are both miracles and now we have each other.”
‘Never have I lost faith in you since that day when I first spun you from a giant wave and tossed you helplessly on the sands…
As you measure time that was more than 500,000,000 years ago. There were many models, many shapes, many sizes, before I reached perfection in you more than 30,000 years ago…
I have made no further effort to improve on you in all these years…
For how could one improve on a miracle…
You were a marvel to behold, and I was pleased…
I gave you this world and dominion over it…
Then, to enable you to reach your full potential I placed my hand upon you, once more, and endowed you with powers unknown to any other creature in the universe, even unto this day…
I gave you the power to think…
I gave you the power to love…
I gave you the power to will…
I gave you the power to laugh…
I gave you the power to imagine…
I gave you the power to create…
I gave you the power to plan…
I gave you the power to speak…
I gave you the power to pray…
I gave you the power to heal…
My pride in you knew no bounds. You were my ultimate creation, my greatest miracle. A complete living being.”
- I thought about any areas, regarding my situation, where I was experiencing doubt or unbelief. And I bolstered those up by speaking to doubt and unbelief and saying out loud what was possible.
- I purposefully watched some YouTubes that build my faith.
- Because my worldview is one of Christianity, I asked God to help increase my faith.
I know this. Our lives move in the direction of our faith.
“Well, my life’s about to get great, because I’m going to be practicing faith. Good faith. Great faith,” my client proclaimed!
I hope you will do the same!
*********
Faith. It determines the course of your life. Expect great things.
This is so powerful in marriage. Recently, someone came in and told me they had been reading their journals about all the awful things that had happened in their marriage. I asked why they were reading it?
The response: “So I don’t forget how bad it is.”
I responded, “So you have faith that it is bad, you are bolstering your faith about how bad it is? Are you looking for a reason to leave? Or are you hoping it gets better?”
I asked if he had a journal to release negative feelings and a journal of gratitude (or prayer) about the wonderful moments? And the hope that it would be sweet again?
We all need a journal to pour out the toxic negative thoughts we have.
So that the toxins don’t remain within us, creating faith for having an awful future.
But reading it again and again is generating negative faith for an awful outcome. Put it away. Do NOT stay focused on that!
Instead, read your journal of the sweet moments to build a faith for an awesome future.
“My faith helps me understand that circumstances don’t dictate my happiness, my inner peace.” Denzel Washington
Do this with every area of your life.
Set your faith for great things.
For awesome things!
According to your faith …
“Faith sees the invisible, believes the unbelievable, and receives the impossible.” Corrie Ten Boom (Concentration Camp Survivor)
