“I scheduled this premium appointment because I simply must have a breakthrough in my life. Like my life is deteriorating before my eyes! I hope you can understand that this is not just something I desire, but something I simply must have!” my returning client from years ago proclaimed.
She had come through my outpatient treatment program years before, and had done excellent work on early trauma that had created patterns of self-sabotage, self-doubt, and a very unfulfilling life.
After graduation, we had stayed in touch. I knew she had fallen in love with the man of her dreams, her business was thriving, and she was literally glowing.
But not so that day.
I listened intently and empathetically as she shared about the challenges in her marriage, the challenges in her health, and the challenges in her business.
After validating (with great understanding) her need for “massive breakthrough,” I told her that we would roll up our sleeves and make certain that she could strategize a great breakthrough in her life.
What is “breakthrough“ anyway?
It has been defined as:
- Rising above the negative, the criticisms, and any failures. To refuse to be bound by the past.
- Someone’s notable success.
- Moving through or beyond obstacles.
- An important marker in the development of a person or project as a result of overcoming major challenges.
- Surpassing limiting restrictions.
- Major progress that occurs more quickly than expected or thought possible.
- A moment of profound transformation due to a realization that catapult personal (or project) growth.
I’ve always appreciated Tony Robbins’ definition:
“A moment in time when everything changes, and the impossible becomes possible, if we act on it. “
However you choose to define it … I think, if we are honest, all of us have had moments in our lives when we are in need of breakthrough. Perhaps you are in one of those moments now.
As a matter of fact, my client showing up determined for breakthrough was perfect timing. I was in need of a breakthrough myself at the moment, and leading her through to hers presented a beautiful opportunity for me.
Whether you are in need of a breakthrough or not in your life, it could very well be that sharing this with someone who is … will be a great blessing to you and them as well!
Here are the three things we addressed about breakthrough for her. Things that culminated in a moment in time that changed her trajectory.
I’m sharing it with you in hopes that whether you need it now, need it later, or have a friend or loved one who needs it … That we can all seize the breakthrough that we need.
“It’s your time for a breakthrough! Make up your mind to leave the past and the old you behind. Focus on giving birth to a new you … the real you. It is your time to create a turning point for the better in your life. It is your destiny to be healthy, happy and successful. Your future is open, full of possibility and promise! Buckle down and do whatever is required to create a life that you are proud of and a life that you deserve! Don’t look back!! Look ahead, move forward and make this your best year ever! You have the something special. You have GREATNESS within you!”
1. Breakthrough requires energy and momentum.
My client was very familiar with this one, because it’s one of the exercises that we do in many of my programs.
We have cardboard boxes that we stack at least seven across and seven high. We have people write their obstacles, their limiting thoughts… Whatever might be between them and their breakthrough… One on each box.
We first have them stand right up next to the boxes and see if with one kick or one push, they can get every single one of the obstacles out of their way.
It’s fun to watch them strategize, and then we do the countdown. Of course, with loud music… And no matter their strategy, there’s simply no way that every box is turned over.
But then we talk about getting more energy in us, and getting some momentum paired with the energy.
Then we back way up to the other side of the room, play some loud music, build up some energy, and then do the countdown as they charge across the room to the boxes and breakthrough them. Every single box is displaced!
Energy and momentum.
If you need a breakthrough in your relationship, you won’t get it watching, YouTube, or laying on the couch. You simply must activate energy and momentum.
If you need a breakthrough in your finances, you won’t get it sitting in front of the computer with spreadsheets and worrying. You simply must activate energy and momentum.
If you need a breakthrough in your health, you won’t get it lying in bed or eating bonbons (or any carbs for that matter). You simply must activate energy and momentum.
What does that mean for your situation?
Of course, I don’t know what that means for your situation, but I can assure you of this one thing. It requires movement and momentum.
Without movement with energy, our brains:
- Are simply stuck.
- Cannot see new options.
- Will practice insanity… directing you to do the same thing again, and again, and expecting a different result.
Sharing this with my client inspired me to add back my loud music and energized dancing each morning to my morning ritual!
In my workshops, before we do the breakthrough exercise, I tell the attendees, as I reminded my client, that you’ve got to get some momentum.
Most people are afraid of momentum because they don’t know the direction they need to go. I tell them that the strategy in the next step will help with that.
But it’s like an old farm truck. They are very hard to turn when you are sitting still or barely moving. It requires both hands on the wheel along with significant energy and strength to turn it.
Yet when you get it moving, you can turn it with just a finger on the wheel.
The same is true in your life. Get momentum … then it’s easy to turn it in the right direction!
2. Breakthrough requires creative strategy.
Let me begin by reminding you, that your brain cannot have creative thoughts without movement and energy.
With energy and momentum, our brain lights up its creativity centers.
Without energy and momentum, our brains continue practicing insanity:
- Hoping for a different result.
- Seeing what happens.
- Drifting and waiting.
- Allowing the winds of life to chart our course.
However, with energy and momentum, creative strategies can pour forth.
Here’s how to inspire your creative strategies to come forth:
- Recognize patterns that are limiting your creative process. And kick them to the curb. For example, one of the things that my client recognized was her pattern of making things look worse than they were. (Which results from fear. Fear of not know what might happen, or fear of never getting what we really want). When we recognize those patterns, we can:
- Kick them to the curb. How did she do this? By telling herself that no one was filing for divorce. It wasn’t as dire as she was making it out to be in her head. And assuring herself that there is ALWAYS A WAY!
- Practice disruptive thinking. Don’t get stuck in the same old loop. Begin to think of outrageous things that you might never do, but get you out of your focus on what’s not possible, and on to what IS possible.
For example, I told my client that I had a wonderful client year ago who was separated from his wife. It was Thanksgiving and he couldn’t bear to be without her.
So, he rented a turkey suit with full feathers and donned it on his 6’3”, 300# body. He rang the doorbell at her parents’ home, and played with all the nieces and nephews in the yard just so he could see her.
Never revealing his identity.
My client burst forth with laughter, and it got her out of her old loop and on to a creative strategy … without having to rent a turkey suit. Which leads us to the next way to inspire creative strategy.
- Find something to laugh about. Laughter breaks us out of our old loops.
- Visualize something different. Catch a vision of something different than the way things are now. Even if you have to create the vision of something you think would require a miracle! That vision will change your focus, and release creative strategy.
- Get Coaching. If you just can’t seem to get to creative strategy, that’s okay. Sometimes it’s just too onerous to get there. It’s okay to get an expert set of eyes and ears on your situation to guide you to creative strategy.
- Ask for help from above. I don’t know your worldview, but I hope you won’t mind me sharing mine for just a moment. I am a big believer that when I’ve done all I know to do, I can look for some help from above.
When I shared this with my client, she asked: “You mean you pray?” I nodded.
“Like what kind of prayer?” I smiled and said, “Nothing fancy!” Then I threw my hands up in the air as if exasperated and raised my voice bit and called out: “HELP!” We both laughed.
Do any or all of these to get creative strategies flowing.
3. Breakthroughs requires belief or faith.
Once you’ve gotten some momentum through energy, and a creative strategy, neither of those is enough to create breakthrough if you have beliefs carved in stone that are contrary.
I love what David Nurse, optimization coach said after coaching the Brooklyn Nets: “Big breakthroughs happen when what is suddenly possible meets what is desperately needed.”
We actually have the power with our brains to create the belief of what is suddenly possible. How do we do that?
One of the many ways is to do the exercise that I did with my client. I had her list on paper what she did believed that was in opposition to was possible about her marriage, about her health, and about her finances.
Then I asked her if it was OK if I borrowed her papers. And as I often do when I know clients well, before she could respond, I went and snatched them out of her hands.
I sat down and told her they were going in my safe for safekeeping after she left. She could not take them with her, and they were not available to her.
Perhaps you could a friend or a mentor to keep yours in safe keeping!
Then I told her that without all of those, I wanted her to write about what WAS possible in each of those three areas of her life.
When she came back with her homework, here are some snippets from what she wrote:
Her marriage – That the only thing keeping them from recapturing the love they had when they fell for one another was believing that it died. Or they grew apart. And that love never dies, and growing apart is just an excuse. “We can fall madly in love again, and teach other couples how to do the same!”
How did that happen? We moved her beliefs that kept her from her breakthrough out of the way, so that suddenly what was possible could join with what was desperately needed.
(Just a quick update… Her strategic plan was to spend the next 21 days doing things that she did when they fell in love, believing that it would reach in him, reignite his spark, and touch him deeply.
However, she was struggling to do so until we did this exercise. Her 21 days started over, and she said, “I did it daily with a passion!”
Long story short… Their marriage is re-fired!
Remove your beliefs that are contrary to your miracle … and see breakthrough!
“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs.”
I am believing for some breakthroughs in my life right now. I am singing and dancing my heart out to get momentum, I have creative strategies, and I am believing for miracles!
I get hope and inspiration from quotes like this:
“The great breakthrough in your life comes when you realize that you can learn anything you need to learn to accomplish any goal that you set for yourself. This means there are no limits on what you can be, have or do.” Brian Tracy
“Asking ‘Why? can lead to understanding. Asking ‘Why not? can lead to breakthroughs.” Daniel H. Pink
“Sometimes our breakthrough begins when we refuse to be impressed with the size of our problem.”
I’ll dance for you, wish creative strategies for you, and believe for your miracles! As I believe for mine!
Let’s do this together!