5 Steps to Editing Your Owner's Manual for An Amazingly Fulfilled Life

“I’ve snatched so many pages out of my Owner’s Manual that I don’t even know who I am anymore!“

Because her Owner’s Manual had so many self-defeating, disempowering and conflicting entries, it made total sense to me why she had done so much snatching.

Our Owner’s Manual. As I mentioned last week in my blog about some modifications that you might want to make in your Owner’s Manual in order to have a rich, fulfilling life… We all have an Owner’s Manual.

It was written by significant caregivers and/or important people in our lives when we were a child, and it was fully installed on our hard drive by the time we were eight or nine years old.

Whether yours was written by a psycho (as noted in my blog last week), or well-meaning parents, your entries override everything else, including great wisdom or even common sense. Not just sometimes, but moment to moment on a daily basis!

That Owner’s Manual on your hard drive runs in the background, dictating every single decision you make in their life.

Most of us have many wonderful and empowering entries.

For example, my mother and my grandmother both installed an entry that saus: “With faith and good beliefs, impossible things become possible!“ I love that entry is in my Owner’s Manual, and I will make sure it is protected till the day that I die!

But like in my Owner’s Manual, we usually have some entries that do not serve us well.  

For example, my Owner’s Manual said: “You are not educational material.“ Although I made good grades, I believed I was not educational material, and had no intentions of attending college.

When I became aware of that entry, I snatched it out in a heartbeat. And I replaced it with: “ I am smart and capable of doing any and all things I was created to do and be!“ That new entry opened the door way to earning two undergraduate degrees, and three graduate degrees.

My client continued with “So now that I’ve snatched all these pages out … What’s next?”

After last weeks blog, I had many people reach out and ask similar questions, “Exactly how do we make these edits or corrections?“

I’m glad you asked because here are five steps you can use. And by the way … good for you for being willing and courageous enough to do this!


You must understand that most of us have no idea what our Owner’s Manual says.

You can begin to access what’s written in there by asking yourself some key questions:

  • What was said about finances or money growing up?
  • Were we under stress financially?
  • Did we believe we should be generous?
  • Did one person or another had more control over the money?
  • What did your parents or stepparents relationship say to you about love?
  • What did their relationship say to you about marriage?
  • What did you learn to believe about how you deal with conflict with someone you love?
  • What did you learn about trust?
  • What did they say/believe about you?
  • What loving names were you called?
  • What derogatory names were you called?
  • What were you made to believe about what you were capable of?
  • What got written in there about what you should do with your life?
  • What was written about what it means to be a girl or boy?
  • What were told or what did you see about being angry?
  • What were you taught/told about crying?
  • What were you taught/told about fear?
  • Were there different rules for girls and boys?

There are hundreds of questions you could ask yourself.

I recommend that as people are looking at their Owner’s Manual to ask yourself questions about what you were taught about topics as a child in regards to issues that are challenging you, or causing you problems now.

If you need help, ask childhood friends, or trusted siblings.

This is not meant to stir up trouble in your family by any means. Remember, most parents meant to make entries that would set you up for the best life possible.

Whether or not that occurred, is not necessarily a grade on their parenting. So set that concern aside, and figure out what is written in this Manual that controls your life.


Literally, when I have people working on their Owner’s Manual, I suggest that they get a spiral notebook or some sort of a journal and write one entry per page, with nothing on the back of the page.

Why? Well you’ve heard me refer to “snatching out” pages.  

I literally have people snatch pages out that do not need to be there any longer.

But “snatching pages out“ is what I call a “weak scramble!“

You know how when you enter a password for some thing on your phone or on your computer it will tell you if it is “weak“ and not allow you to use it for a password?

I don’t want you to do a “week scramble.“ Because those old entries will be back nipping at you on the backside if you don’t do a very “strong scramble.“

So yes you may “snatch out“ pages that have entries that are not empowering and/or do not work for you! 

I have people do at least three things for a powerful scramble. Here are some of the options to choose three things from:

  • Say the entry that you want to get rid of backwards at least a dozen times with a loud voice. For example, one of my entries was: “you are not educational material!“ Over and over more than a dozen times, I proclaimed out loud: “Material educational not are you!“ Say it loud and proud over and over! It actually takes that entry in your brain and confuses your brain so that your brain will eject!
  • Say the words of the entry you are deleting in your best Donald Duck voice over and over. Your brain will consider it funny and never again take it seriously!
  • Say each word of the entry that needs to “go” and force a hiccup between each word. Once again, your brain will be confused and never again process it because all it will be focusing on is the ridiculous hiccups!
  • Tear the page you snatched out into little bitty pieces, talking to that old, outdated entry the whole time. Try saying things like:
  • “You are just a lie.”
    • ”This is not true.”
    • You are not welcome here anymore.”

Put those little giblets of paper on the floor and jump up and down on them and find a song to stomp to. When I took my educational entry out I used the song:

“Hit the road, Jack, and don’t you come back no more no more no more no more! Hit the road, Jack, and don’t you come back no more!“

I sang it at the top of my lungs as I stomped it!

  • Burn it. And while you watch it burn, talk to it: and “Burn, baby, burn!” Or “You are nothing but ashes!”
  • Take the ashes or giblets of paper and bury them. While you’re digging the little hole tell it that they are dead to you and no longer welcome! 
  • Make up your own symbolic gesture with something that will scramble your brain. Do it until your brain cannot even process the old entry.

Choose at least three of the above and do a POWERFUL and STRONG scramble!


I am quite often asked how you know what you should delete from your Owner’s Manual. Here are my general guidelines about what to delete:

  • Things that are not true, especially about you. (Examples: You are too sensitive, you are not smart enough).
  • Things that cause conflict or heartburn in your life. (Examples: No one will ever be there for you. You are incapable of …)
  • Things that are negative about you. (Examples: You talk too much. No one will ever want to be with you).
  • Things that no longer serve you. (Examples: Be wary when people are nice, it just means they want something. Only evil people make lots of money).
  • Things that create limits and hold you back from becoming all you were created to be. (Examples: You won’t ever have a great relationship. You will be lucky to make minimum wage).

What things should you edit or modify?

  • Things that are not empowering. (Example: You will be a good enough parent).
  • Things that are not congruent with who you want to be. (Example: You will never be able to make a difference).
  • Things that don’t quite make sense. (Example: If you put a $100 bill in your wallet and never spend it, you will never go “broke.”)
  • Things that cause you problems. (Example: You will never have any friends).
  • Things that have half truths in them. (Example: It’s a good thing you have long legs, because that’s all you have going for you).

The word “empowering “is a real key when you are creating, rewriting, or editing entries.

In this case, the definition of “empowering “is:

Anything that inspires you, propels you or assists you in becoming the best version of you, and becoming all you were created to be, and accomplishing all you were created to do.

Sometimes beginning this journey, examples help.

One of the entries in my Owner’s Manual was that: “Girls don’t have as many opportunities as boys in the professional world.“

I knew immediately I wanted to modify that, because it was hindering me from stepping out to do some of the things I believed that I was gifted to do.  After a lot of thought, I edited that entry to say, “All of the opportunities for which I have gifts are available to me. God help me see them and find them!“

I took that to my mentor who had asked me to rewrite it to something empowering. She nodded and smiled with approval.

Then she said now let’s make it even more empowering.  I thought, “If you knew how long it took me to come up with that one, you would never think of asking me to look at it again!”

But I knew by the expression on her face that saying it was a waste of my breath! Leaving it as I read it to her was simply not going to happen.

 I stumbled through a couple of things and finally said to her, “Would you help me with this one so I can use it as an example of how to take my future edited versions to an even more empowering place?”

As if she was glad I asked, she smiled and said… “How about this one?”

So many opportunities that I once thought were only meant for men are chasing me down that I have to say to God: “Help me make a good choice before I get tackled!“

I laughed out loud because all of the sudden… I got it! I got the real meaning of writing entries in my Owner’s Manual that would empower me.

So I’m right there with you!

Write your first effort and do your best to make it empowering. Then I want you to hear me saying to you… “You can do better than that! Light a bonfire of empowerment and write it one more time!“


After you’ve taken all the time you need to modify or rewrite entries that are empowering, and you stoked it up and taking it to an even higher level, you need to install them.

Literally install them into your heart and into your brain.

You can have a file in your downloads to install, but if you never click on it and actually go through the steps to install it, it will never be functional on your computer.

The same is true with these new entries for your Owner’s Manual. They can be sitting in your download file, but without the steps to actually install them, they will never become empowering and a true driving force in your Owner’s Manual.

So how do you install them? You must say them out loud with intensity while moving your body! Say them over and over and over.

Adding music in the background is another powerful way to securely install them.

Just recently, I had a new version of “You are not ______ enough pop up from my Owner‘s Manual. I rewrote it to something empowering, and then I mega charged and super pumped it up to:

“I am more than enough! As a world changer, I speak life, emanate the healing power of love, and fight for freedom with every captive. I am unshakable, unstoppable, and irresistible!“

To do my installation just a few days ago, I used a powerful song called “Rattle!“ Check out a few of the lyrics or click on this link and use it yourself!  

Resurrection power
Runs in my veins too
I believe there’s another miracle
Here in this room!

This is the sound
Of dry bones rattling
This is what
Makes a dead man walk again
Open the grave
I’m coming out
I’m gonna live
Gonna live again
This is the sound
Of dry bones rattling

Trust me! After an hour of this on loop, and proclaiming my new entry in my Owner’s Manual … while pumping my arms and walking with a vengeance, they are deep in my heart, my brain and my soul!

And the great news is yours can be the same! Now, all I will have to do is play that song in my earphones every morning when I step up to my desk, and God help anyone who tries to stand in my way of fulfilling my purpose and mission!


I actually already shared with you one of the days that I celebrate every day. When I step up to my desk, I turn on that song, and I shall never forget what happened in me the day I used it.

Now I’ve been working on my Owner’s Manual for over 20 years now. I believe we are never completely finished, but we need to take every interaction that is troubling and begin to see what it tapped into from that old Owner’s Manual.

Over the years, I have used one song for about every four or five years. So I also have all of them on a playlist.  I listen to that playlist often while I’m walking, when I have windshield time, and/or when I find myself in a less than ideal moment.

Each song takes me back to very special moments when I installed something new and powerful into my Owner’s Manual. Keep track of your songs, and use them to help you celebrate your new Owner’s Manual. 

In my daily journal, I have a gratitude section. At least one of my gratitude entries daily has to do with something that is new or different than it might have been had I not transformed one of the entries in my Owner’s Manual.

Recently, someone was being critical of how I handled a situation. Certainly I listened to the feedback, and spent some time evaluating myself and seeing where there might be room for growth. 

But that day, I also celebrated and became grateful for the moment that I changed an entry in my old Owner’s Manual from “You can’t handle anything right“ … to “I am always open for anything that will create tremendous growth in me, so I’m able to clearly evaluate  things said to me, and determine whether or not they are true … while always knowing that I am in an ongoing, never ending, constant state of giving every moment my very best!“

There was a time when that criticism would’ve taken me under realizing I don’t do or handle anything right. But no longer! And never again!  Both the celebration and the gratitude creates ongoing reprogramming of our brains. Practice them often with new empowering entries in your empowering Owner’s Manual!

Yes it’s a lot of work, but you deserve it! You deserve to take the time to write empowering entries that call you forth to becoming your very best, and to accomplishing your mission and your purpose! Why is that important?

Because someone needs what is within you!

Do not allow faulty entries in your Owner’s Manual to hold you back, put a ceiling on you, or place obstacles before you that you can’t knock or kick down with a new entry!

I believe in you, and I hope your Owner’s Manual is one that would inspire anyone to greatness!

Yes it will take some time, but let the day you read this, be your new beginning!

C’mon! We need YOU!