What is a connection disorder? It has been defined as “an emotional dysfunction that prevents the forming of caring or intimate bonds with another person.” I have always referred to it as “Love Avoidant, Attachment Resistant, and Commitment Sidestepping.” It is a condition that leaves that person surrounded by a trail of devastation, and floods…
Last week I wrote about the battle between adrenaline and oxytocin in our systems. I talked about adrenaline and its few benefits, and many undesirable health consequences. And maybe worse, its negative relationship consequences. Oxytocin, on the other hand, is often called the love hormone or the cuddle chemical. Rightfully so, because it is not…
Givers and takers. I read a book about this years ago when I was in graduate school and it made a great impression. I’ve spoken to couples in my office for many years about this topic, but I know that it wasn’t always taken with the seriousness with which I believe it should be taken.…
If the Shoe/Slipper Fits … Wear It with Style! Relationship maturity… Probably a topic that you’ve not heard much about … and certainly something that is rarely practiced. Yet such maturity is absolutely crucial for an ongoing happy, healthy, fulfilling relationship. Whether that be a marriage, a love relationship, a parent-child relationship, or a relationship…
Grace and mercy are not just church words… They are prerequisites for healthy and extraordinary relationships! I know grace and mercy are words that we associate with church. And certainly they have their place in that setting.But perhaps the most important place for the words and the practice of grace and mercy is in relationships.…
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. As a little girl, we would use that little saying in one of our jump rope games. But even as a first grader, that was my least favorite rhythm/rhyme to use in jump rope. Because deep in my heart, I knew it…
Mediocrity. No one really wants mediocre. We don’t really want a mediocre life. We don’t really want a mediocre job. We certainly don’t want a mediocre marriage or relationship. And I certainly don’t know anyone hoping for a mediocre income! Mediocre is defined as: Neither good, nor bad; but not satisfactory Poor quality Inferior Barely…
Conflict! It happens in every relationship. Whether a huge conflict or a small conflict, every unresolved conflict leaves a wound in the relationship. This is true for intimate relationships, family relationship, friendships, and in the workplace. Although I am focusing on intimate relationships, the three foundational secrets are the same in every arena! Why is…
Tough love. One of the most misunderstood terms in the history of psychology! What is tough love? It has been defined as: “When someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them.” What an oxymoron the words “tough love” are! This historical definition of love continues to be the one most…
Why is he/she always leaving? Why is she/he so critical of everything I do? Is he/she a narcissist? There is so much pop psychology out there talking about narcissism. I find that much of the time the label is used, it’s because the partner is desperate. Unfortunately, it’s used in a pop-psychology way and can…